I was on the bus coming from Rainier Avenue
For those of you who don’t know this area
its in Seattle & not a real good area of town.
There are a lot of shady types around there.
As I was riding the bus it was still early around
5PM there were 2 young men & they weren’t too
nice. I had over heard a conversation & it left me
feeling quite disgusted with guys in general.
“Yeah, I called this girl and asked if she would
want to do a train”. Said the one young man to
his friend. Then the one young man says to his friend this:
“Lets not talk anymore about this”, This tells me that this young man
had said way too much, plus he knew what he was talking about was so totally
& absolutely WRONG! When people do what they know is wrong that’s when its
kept secret, except in this instance the cat was out of the bag so to speak.
For those of you not familiar with street vernacular
a train is when a woman has sex with multiple partners
one right after another in succession.
It’s common in prison
and I’ve read that its real popular at parties
were gangbangers are present.
I learned of the term when I read a book
by Nate McCall a former inmate who then went on to become a journalist who worked at a couple of highly respected newspapers
back East then went on to become a best selling author of his first autobiography
“Makes Me Wanna Holler”
For most of my life since I was 9 or 10 years old
I’ve received unwanted attention all not good from
males. Young & old.
What I heard on the bus really disgusted me and
had me worried over just how women are viewed
in society. Can you say degrading,demeaning,
sexual objectification? All I could do is ignore them
I mean what could I do? Nothing. All I could do
is hope & pray that the girl in question that these two
miscreants were talking about , would say to them
Go to hell.
But lets face it everyone, young girls are not given
the best empowerment tools while they are growing up.
I know this is true because I never really received ANY amount
of self esteem learning. I was verbally,physicallly & mentally abused
all throughout my childhood & my teens that went on for many years.
By the time I reached my teens I had mood swings, I was depressed and
I had no identity that was anywhere near positive about myself.
My Mother was always angry rarely was she happy. My Father
was never around. Then my Fathers 2nd Wife added to the abuse I suffered
So how would I have learned any positive self esteem?
I had lecherous boys trying to paw me, stick their tongue down my throat when
trying to kiss me, OMG all I knew about kissing was from the movies & I had no idea
a tongue went with it. When I was 14 a boy on my bowling team tried that with me?
I nearly freaked out.
I was also lucky not to have gotten pregnant. I avoided it like the plague which wasn’t easy because guys are always scheming to have sex with you. They have all kinds of lies & tricks up their sleeves. Believe that! I’m not making any of this up. This has caused pretty bad damage to me psychologically because it robbed me of learning about myself in a positive way with all the negativity I received from the men who sexually harassed me? Has stunted my personal development impeding my personal growth as a woman. I learned distrust, I don’t smile as freely as I used to when I was young, and I’m really hypervigilant
I am always suspicious, on more than one occasion a car has pulled over a man inside mistaking me for a prostitute. Believe me honey when a strange man is pulling his car over to were your walking he isn’t asking for directions. And in no way was I even dressed provocatively. My wardrobe consists of nothing but jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes!
So when I heard what I heard on the bus today I got severely depressed that these two cretins thought so little of females as to use them just like a piece of meat to have sex with.
No more different than using the toilet!
Men disgust me.
I may not have much, I may not have a college degree but you know what?
I have the sense to stay away from men.
You women out there? You need to be careful of which men you associate with
and scrutinize them with a fine tooth comb.
Now not all men are sex crazed perverts, at least I hope not.
But the good majority think nothing of a woman other than to get
their rocks off.
Of course they won’t tell you that…that is until after the deed is done & these
same men toss you aside as quickly as a napkin gets tossed in the trash.
We women deserver respect,dignity
We women don’t deserve to be treated like a mans
Men please stop thinking with your penis.
Women are so much more valuable than that!
Men think with your heart & the OTHER head & not
the one in your pants.
And women let me say this, I am not typing this blog as an anti men campaign. What I hope to have happen is to educate you all. I am older & I’m pretty much like a soldier that has survived many battles. Isn’t that the case of most women? Doesn’t matter what color
you are either. Hopefully to women everywhere in the U.S. and to those sisters who live overseas you’ll have a better understanding & learn most importantly to stand up for yourself because you are worth it. Don’t ever forget that.