Why All The Misogyny?

 I was on the bus coming from Rainier Avenue

For those of you who don’t know this area

its in Seattle & not a real good area of town.

There are a lot of shady types around there.

As I was riding the bus it was still early around

5PM there were 2 young men & they weren’t too

nice.  I had over heard a conversation & it left me

feeling quite disgusted with guys in general.

“Yeah, I called this girl and asked if she would

want to do a train”.  Said the one young man to

his friend.  Then the one young man says to his friend this:

“Lets not talk anymore about this”, This tells me that this young man

had said way too much, plus he knew what he was talking about was so totally

& absolutely WRONG!  When people do what they know is wrong that’s when its

kept secret, except in this instance the cat was out of the bag so to speak.

For those of you not familiar with street vernacular

a train is when a woman has sex with multiple partners

one right after another in succession.

It’s common in prison

and I’ve read that its real popular at parties

were gangbangers are present.

I learned of the term when I read a book

by Nate McCall a former inmate who then went on to become  a journalist who worked at a couple of highly respected newspapers

back East then went on to  become a best selling author of his first autobiography

“Makes Me Wanna Holler”

For most of my life since I was 9 or 10 years old

I’ve received unwanted attention all not good from

males.  Young & old.

What I heard on the bus really disgusted me and

had me worried over just how women are viewed

in society.  Can you say degrading,demeaning,

sexual objectification?  All I could do is ignore them

I mean what could I do?  Nothing.   All I could do

is hope & pray that the girl in question that these two

miscreants were talking about , would say to them

Go to hell.

But lets face it everyone, young girls are not given

the best empowerment tools while they are growing up.

I know this is true because I never really received ANY amount

of self esteem learning.  I was verbally,physicallly & mentally abused

all throughout my childhood & my teens that went on for many years.

By the time I reached my teens I had mood swings, I was depressed and

I had no identity that was anywhere near positive about myself.

My Mother was always angry rarely was she happy.  My Father

was never around.  Then my Fathers 2nd Wife added to the abuse I suffered

So how would I have learned any positive self esteem?

Answer:  NEVER!

I had lecherous boys trying to paw me, stick their tongue down my throat when

trying to kiss me, OMG all I knew about kissing was from the movies & I had no idea

a tongue went with it.  When I was 14 a boy on my bowling team tried that with me?

I nearly freaked out.

I was also lucky not to have gotten pregnant.  I avoided it like the plague which wasn’t easy because guys are always scheming to have sex with you.  They have all kinds of lies & tricks up their sleeves.   Believe that! I’m not making any of this up.  This has caused pretty bad damage to me psychologically because it robbed me of learning about myself in a positive way with all the negativity I received from the men who sexually harassed me? Has stunted my personal development impeding my personal growth as a woman.  I learned distrust, I don’t smile as freely as I used to when I was young, and I’m really hypervigilant

I am always suspicious, on more than one occasion a car has pulled over a man inside mistaking me for a prostitute.  Believe me honey when a strange man is pulling his car over to were your walking he isn’t asking for directions.  And in no way was I even dressed provocatively.  My wardrobe consists of nothing but jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes!

So when I heard what I heard on the bus today I got severely depressed that these two cretins thought so little of females as to use them just like a piece of meat to have sex with.

No more different than using the toilet!

Men disgust me.

I may not have much, I may not have a college degree but you know what?

I have the sense to stay away from men.

You women out there?  You need to be careful of which men you associate with

and scrutinize them with a fine tooth comb.

Now not all men are sex crazed perverts, at least I hope not.

But the good majority think nothing of a woman other than to get

their rocks off.

Of course they won’t tell you that…that is until after the deed is done & these

same men toss you aside as quickly as a napkin gets tossed in the trash.

We women deserver respect,dignity

We women don’t deserve to be treated like a mans

personal toilet.

Men please stop thinking with your penis.

Women are so much more valuable than that!

Men think with your heart & the OTHER head & not

the one in your pants.

PLEASE!!

And women let me say this, I am not typing this blog as an anti men campaign.  What I hope to have happen is to educate you all.  I am older & I’m pretty much like a soldier that has survived many battles.   Isn’t that the case of most women?  Doesn’t matter what color

you are either.  Hopefully to women everywhere in the U.S. and to those sisters who live overseas you’ll have a better understanding & learn most importantly to stand up for yourself because you are worth it. Don’t ever forget that.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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