Are You In Therapy?

Hi Everyone,

This is a question that I get asked from time to time.

I have to say it is the most frustrating question & sometimes?  I just want to scream at these people.   Let me put this as bluntly as I can alright?  Finding therapy everyone is NOT easy.

With all of my numerous traumas which could fill practically the entire library of Congress I find most of the therapists just don’t understand where I’m coming from.

Just today I got a return call from a local Seattle therapist who shall remain nameless and he was acting just like a horses ass towards me.  This therapist I’ll call him Steve was an absolute jerk.   Steve was impatient, rude, curt & it seemed to me real angry.  Steve just did not understand ANY of my life struggles.  Instead what Steve did was make me feel ashamed that I was struggling in life.   Now is that any kind of way for a therapist to act?  Then Steve impatiently gave me some useless referrals one of those was a woman who primarily does leadership coaching which was not even remotely geared towards mental health  NOT real helpful for me.  apparently I feel he just wanted me out of his hair.  I’m still angry with him, so I will never call this jerk again.  With my mental illness & the multiple traumas that I’ve faced & the hardships I still face today I feel that finding a caring, compassionate therapist is such an impossible if not daunting task!  I’ve just not been successful in my search for good quality therapy.   Let me share an example, I’ve had therapists nearly fall asleep on me.   I almost want to say “Gee, I’m sorry but am I boring you”?  Are my troubles that dull?   Most I believe just do not care which is pretty vexing to say the least.  I mean why go into being a mental health therapist in the first place?   Steve the impatient therapist was impatient with me all but yelling at me to find somewhere to volunteer.

Steve was like “Why don’t you try the Israeli apartheid group”?  Well I wanted to say, perhaps it’s because I don’t  know all that much about that group?   Then when I was trying to explain how difficult my life has been Steve seemed even more impatient with me saying that it will be hard to find community to meet all your needs.   Whatever the hell that meant.  Steve went on to say that I am in a difficult position.    Really Steve? well thank you for pointing that out, otherwise I sure wouldn’t have ever found that out! (sarcastic)   That is why I’m seeking a therapist! Can’t say I like the man after all of his less than sensitive nature.   And this GUY IS A THERAPIST?  I’d like to meet his clients, I hope that they don’t find themselves jumping off the nearest bridge cause his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired.  This search for quality therapy is wearing me out.  I’m not even sure if I should even continue nearly all of the therapists are either condescending or give shitty counseling what with all the money I’ve wasted.   Rip off con artists the lot of them.   Thank God I have decent coping skills cause you know what everyone?  My ass sure should be in jail, on drugs, or any of the other horrors that happen to women of color who run into NUMEROUS barriers to get decent mental health help.

This goes out to you mental health counselors:  The people who seek out your help are NOT stupid so quit treating us like we are.   Also all you therapists you all need to LISTEN & help us out!   Why oh why do you so called therapist act this obtuse?  Is it deliberate?

Also we that seek out your help are HUMAN BEINGS WITH REAL FEELINGS, so quit acting like your all superior.   Everyone out there?  I’ve tried to find help for a good number of years and ,  I don’t seem to have anyone in my corner that will help me!   It’s elementary, middle, and high school all over again!  No one wanted to help me then either.  Same as when I entered adulthood no one wanted to be bothered, was extremely judgemental, and basically treated me with contempt.   All because I suffer from mental illness & I’m not on par with how an adult should live i.e. the house, a significant other, tons of friends and happily ever after.   Well I do the best that I can so I don’t apologize for my illness.   I did not ask for this to happen to me but when I try to help myself & all I get is:

Impatience

rudeness

contempt

Then I have to wonder if I’ll ever trust  anyone ever again.  My hope is fading FAST people!

How am I expected to heal when all I get is basically impertinent & rude therapist who won’t help me.

Just isn’t fair.

Everyone getting good mental health treatment is important for us all.   Ever wonder why the World is in such trouble?     I didn’t ask for all the trauma so I know that it is up to me to find a way to live the American dream.  To get that I need help with all that has happened to me.  The problem is in finding the RIGHT help for me.

And I’m doing this all by myself.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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