I Know All About The Dark Side Of Human Nature.

Do you want to know why I write these blogs?   I do it to bring attention to just how badly I’ve been treated in life!   I’m honest, I don’t bullshit.   I’ve suffered ALOT at the hands of other people.   I wished I would garner more traffic to my site because I do have a story to tell, I’ve suffered practically MY WHOLE LIFE, I’ve never really had anyone give me kindness except my Mom’s & real recently?  My new landlord.

I had the idea of what to blog by going to one of my followers who is following my blog & right  away I was real glad that this person decided to talk about ADHD.   I have it.   I was the shame of my family.   I was labeled:

A dummy, I was called stupid as a young kid & in 2005 as an ADULT!  by another adult woman (too bad I didn’t smack her!)   Teachers didn’t care about me, I suppose they figured I was a lost cause, I’m not entirely sure but they sure they were full of apathy & it showed!    All I’ve known was real ignorant & extremely MEAN people.  Rarely if ever were people nice to me.   I say this because I want it validated I’m not looking for sympathy I just want love & validation.   That’s all I want.   Because I’ve suffered, real badly.   I felt every day of my life that someone would slowly kill me & my spirit.  And do you know when this happens enough times ladies & gentlemen?  Your soul is EXTERMINATED!  It can happen, it does happen.   What then happens could be as varied as the tortured soul:  crime, drugs, prison, possibly even DEATH!   I’m angry that I’ve been treated so abominably over the years.  Although I knew that society isn’t fair?  the scales of justice really stink when your a person of color struggling with a disability!  I wish I were making it up but unfortunately I’m being real about this, and dammit I want some attention!  All through school it was a nightmare.   At a very young age I was forced to leave my Mother to go live with a stranger known as Father.  I was forced to live with this man & his remarried Wife & was she GROSS!   That was the downward spiral.   I did not learn to tell time until I was 9 years old, didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was 9.   I was cursed at, threatened, people screamed then pulled their hair, even shed tears of frustration, all because they were trying to tutor me & I was not understanding anything.   So in the adults mind I was doing all this on purpose!    I was labeled lazy, compared to the kid next door who was as smart as a whip!   And I was on a constant basis told I wouldn’t amount to anything.

Now when a child is told this as I was it basically sets up a child to fail.  I was literally screwed up for many years to come.   I had problems with drugs, drank heavily, nearly died a few times with suicide attempts.   Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed to meet anyone who had even a half way decent personality who would care.   Its the truth.    Basically I’m tired of being kicked around like this, I’m tired of being ignored, I’m tired of being told that I “have limitations”  How about I show you my limited fist to your jaw??   If one more person makes a comment about my intelligence I’ll go Ralph Cramden of the Honeymooners & land one right in the kisser!

I don’t deserve such negative stereotypes!   Its bad enough I get the occasional racial slur so now you must attack my intelligence?   Its times like these that I wish dueling would come back.  Back in 16th century America colonial times when you insulted a persons character it would be ten paces with pistols.   I’m sick of the way I am treated.  I want respect, I deserve respect, I want to be talked to like a HUMAN BEING!  I do have feelings everyone!   And I hurt just like anyone else!   Feel free to pass along my message.   I am SOMEBODY.  So quit acting so hateful.    The way I’m treated is so unacceptable.  I hope this will get better!