Tonight its Monday I logged on to check out a 4th Of July event that I possibly might go to…alone of course, but I’m so tired of staying home especially on summer holidays when I want to be out anyway but I’m usually too scared. Scared of being targeted for well whatever I have good reason to be apprehensive considering the bad stuff that’s happened in summers past.
I am blogging though on when things get real difficult and they really have for me I just gotta say to myself that its gonna be alright. Has anyone ever seen the movie Monsters Ball? Great movie, not real easy to watch even for me but one hell of a movie that starred Halle Berry, Billy Bob Thornton? (think I have the name right) Both people in this movie had suffered tremendous loss Billy Bob’s character his son who committed suicide, Halle her young son & Husband. My favorite part of that movie was the end when the two of them who eventually became a couple sat on the porch it was night time when Billy Bob says to Halle “You know we’re gonna be alright” then the movie ends. I nearly cried. For me that was one powerful affirming statement and trust me these two went through a lot. So tonight as I’m trying to stay cool in my apartment as its still 80 degrees which is warm for me and I have no AC, as I was removing a wet towel from my box fan I went to the bathroom to put the towel on my towel rack when I said out of the blue out loud “I’m gonna be alright” I never say that! Then I remembered the last line in the movie Monsters Ball. Don’t get me wrong I am suffering, but somehow saying I’m gonna be alright makes me feel just a little better, it somehow eases the intense lonely feelings I feel every single day of the year. I would really love it if some of you could share your experiances with me by leaving me a comment. I’m not expecting much but I thought I would put that out there. I check this blog daily. I am hurting but tonight it seems a little less. So I’m gonna be a bit selfish and ask that you please pray for me. I would appreciate it.