Let Me Do My Journey My Way Please

I’m on a difficult journey.  I understand all to well that no one will be there to help me.  To this I say fine by me.   Its nothing new to me.  What I need is less opinions & that dreadful tough love talk cause growing up I’ve had enough brutal tough love to last me ten lifetimes, it wasn’t necessary and all too often much too cruel.  Same happened all throughout my adult life.  NO.

What I need, all I need is to be loved & supported.  That should be real easy on here as this is online so its not like we will meet face to face.  Not like I will make any appearances in your lives.   Have a one & only love in your life?  I think its wonderful, it won’t hurt anyone to give me a little shout out of love & support.  Simple words of encouragement will most definitely see me through this road I’m on.   That’s all I want, it doesn’t cost anything I just want you all to show me some love.   I know what I want in life and this is one of them.   Self esteem the good kind doesn’t get developed overnight.  I once had it, my self esteem was in essence chewed up & spit out in my face so I have my work cut out for me here.  All I want is some positive energies sent my way, love, support.  Something I’ve never really received.   I deserve an entire Niagara Falls of love & support.  

Until next time everyone.


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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