What I Miss Most From Childhood & Adulthood

There are certain times of the year that I really get melancholy of days gone by.  This happens around the Summer, my favorite time of year for me.   I don’t much care for the other times of the year mainly because I’m single with minimal to no family.   So this blog is about what I miss most of things that I no longer can enjoy due to no friends to share it with, then my Mother who chooses to watch all the crimes shows but for the most part is pretty much a couch potato who wallows in constant depression.

My Father has been dead going on 7 years July of 2006. 

What I miss:

Picnics I just love them!  When I was real little say 9 years old my Father used to take me to a park out in Inglewood California (back when it was still safe) every Memorial Day, 4th Of July, and Labor Day.  It was so much fun.  

Hanging out with my Cousins Pam & Chris…I was pretty devastated when they moved away but that’s another story.

Hanging with my Cousins when we would go to the movies that was so fun.

My time when I was in Germany while I was in the Military.  The German people are so nice I should have stayed over there when I decided to leave the service.

My friends from the 80’s they were the BEST!  Actually nice with a personality not like the people today or the sad sack folks I’ve met after.   I was spoiled & treated like royalty, once you get used to being treated well its hard to adjust being alone & no one pays any attention to you.

Dinners at Benihanna’s Japanese restaurant.  The best restaurant in Seattle.

Going Boating with my friends Rob & Jeff around Puget Sound (Jeff ended up committing suicide 😦

Dinners over at Danny’s house over on Capital Hill OMG he was the best cook in Seattle, he made a wonderful lasagna.

Going to the club with my friends.  Although the music at Neighbors sucked…it was that God awful techno music ( I heard it was so it would attract the White crowd :() My good friend Ed Who Always had my back   it was fun with the guys.

Hanging with my friends at the Jade Pagoda ( J.P. is gone a stupid Palades school and that section of Broadway is so totally GENTRIFIED….barf!

Going anywhere with my guy friends.

This list isn’t inclusive I just can’t remember everything my friends & I did.  But I can tell you I haven’t found ANYONE that have been suitable replacements since.  Its sad.   Most of the people I’ve met were always insecure & were always into putting me down or themselves.   Didn’t stay with those people.  Now with Summer in full swing here, I’m kind of left wondering what the heck to do.   Its real hard.  Finding somewhere to volunteer because its just like finding a job.  And I want to do more than answer phones I’ve done that on a lot of the jobs that I’ve held.   I’m still looking into that one.   I still spend the majority of my time reading a lot of books I now check out (when the books come in off of reserve that is)  about 6 books at once & I read them pretty fast.   That’s all there is to do for right now.  At least I have Circle Of Friends (You can Google it)  I’m going to try to get out there on Saturday.  My life is just not any fun and life is very short I want to make the most of it.   I miss so much from my old life.   A lot has changed and from what I notice from the folks I observe I sure don’t like it.  People are meaner more emotionally distant, everyone is married & have kids I swear where are all the nice single folks at?  Have they been abducted by aliens?   I have no idea.   Gangs are everywhere & in the majority of the rest of the U.S.   its downright depressing now.   I don’t even have family to turn to.  No siblings, and a Mother who wallows  and is in her own World no matter how hard I try to get her to do things, I get tired of being her pep squad, and Mom gets on my nerves a whole lot.  I like motivated people who like to do things, I love surprises (the good kind not the bad)  I like spontaneity and I love FUN! Which I don’t get to have too much of.   So I’m trying to figure it all out & it ain’t easy either.   I suppose I will come up with something.   Its awfully lonely here where I live.  This is not anything I would wish on my worst enemy.   So as I’ve said in previous blogs if your fortunate enough to have the great family, the great relationship, great friends with whom you get to spend time with? Count your blessings and be glad that you ain’t me.   Thanks for reading.  Send me your prayers no matter what religion and if you don’t believe in anything send me some positive messages anyway please, cause I sure do need them.  I need all the luck I can get.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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