Anyone know how to deal with a controlling unstable parent.

I’m desparate here.  I haven’t been able to get into therapy at the V.A. and I just have no one to talk to.  I have lots of anxiety as well.   I have a real controlling & mentally unstable Mother.  Now I know what you may be thinking and that is “Why not stop talking to her”?  Easier said than done everyone, because she is controlling & has traits just like a stalker.  She insists and I mean insists on keeping me on a very tight rein.   Example:  She is mad at me because I don’t have a cell phone.  I recently had to disconnect my service because I’m on a real tight budget.  Mom is mad because she can’t reach me by cell phone.   I had recently switched over to a low cost phone service, Mom is angry & very much controlling because:

There is no voicemail, something I forgot to add.

So when I’m not home to answer she gets all upset that I’m not home to answer it then she has nerve to complain.  When I stand up for myself like I did recently Mom starts to get very angry and just talks down to me real bad like she has a right to be so controlling & irrational in the first place.   I have a mental illness and I just can take this anymore.  No one has ever helped me when it came to my unstable Mother who also is a liar when she doesn’t want to be bothered.  I’ve had to be on the receiving end of her abusive nature.  And she is abusive.  She acts just like an abusive spouse in my opinion.  Its not real easy to keep her at a distance.  Should I get a restraining order?  She would have a stroke!  She is 71 and just as controlling & abusive as ever.  And she takes psychiatric meds.   I’m pushed to my edge, I’m so much at the end of my rope that I’m really in a very dark space about her.   And people like Maura wonders why I’m angry at times.   She doesn’t have to deal with a crazy Mother.  I wished my Mom DID drink, she might be a lot happier.  Out of desperation I contacted my Mother’s psychologist & left about 5 messages which he probably won’t like, but he is a real cool guy.   This psychologist sure isn’t doing his job at help my Mother because she has been going to him for over 15 years now.   I feel as though I’m having to deal with this all by myself with no support or help whatsoever!   Remember I don’t have friends (they sure wouldn’t stick around know about that crazy woman) I have no other relatives, and I would hope that when I can see a psychiatrist at the V.A. because dealing with all that I deal with on top of an unstable, controlling Mother that I can get the much needed help cause I feel like jumping off a bridge myself.   I just don’t know what to do and I’m going to some dark places with the lack of love in my life and on a scale of 1-10 I’m at a   -0.     So that should tell you something.   Dad is dead and there is no one else.    I can’t take this anymore.   I just don’t really like my Mother.   I wished that someone would just please listen!

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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