Ahh Disappointment A Way Of Life For Me.

It’s Sunday and once again I’m in the lurch and I have to find another way to get the remainder of my few things out of storage.  It seems that I depend on anyone this has been a life long problematic occurance.    I don’t have much nor do I get out to have fun.  When you promise to do something for me and you constantly let me down that starts to wear on me.  With the very strained family that I have meaning Mom she just doesn’t help me out with a plan B.  I really must give up expecting anything from her.   A constant disappointment.  But when you have no other family or friends(which I’ve tried to make but no one wants to be bothered)  I just want to throw up my hands & scream!   It really sucks to be me.  If it isn’t enduring abuse while riding the bus and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called “ugly”  or “Whore”  I was even called a black bitch I have officially given up on people period.   I even had a former friend who really isn’t talk down to me as I’m struggling.   Hey, just because your doing well in life please don’t talk down to me saying to me stuff like “love yourself” or some other B.S.   That’s condescending and doesn’t make me feel any better about myself.   People will disappoint you.  I’ve never had anyone there for me. Ever.   So much for human beings.  For some people they get all the friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and they live a charmed life with everything they’ll ever need.   I hate those people.  Well heres to another day of trying to get through the day!  Lets all drink a toast shall we?

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