Have Fun, But Take Time To Help Others.

Women should get to have all the fun too!

Men get to have all the fun & they get a pat on the back.

Women should be free to do whatever they want!

And make their own decisions.

Like never marrying

Not having children

One thing I’ve never liked was how boring women have to be.   Don’t know about you but I like fun, I don’t like quilting, sitting at home knitting, playing cards, working on jigsaw puzzles.   Are you kidding me?  

Even being in a relationship?  Gets boring, real boring after awhile. 

I love spontaneity.

When I start making real good money I want to travel whenever I want without anyone’s permission.

Buy that sports car over a boring mini van.  Are there women who like to enjoy life?  I sure hope so!

I hate going to bed at a certain hour, unless I have to or have an early meeting.   I would love to know any woman who gets out of their shell to have fun.  Sans any drugs.  I’m a huge fan of being spoiled & why not!  cause whats the alternative? Settling for the crumbs?

I don’t think so.  I never was into the whole family thing, I guess since I never experienced that sort of thing I grew to pretty much loathe it.

I never, ever had a burning desire to have kids, well that one made sense to me coming from the background I came from.

I don’t even like kids.   Hey I’m not ashamed to say it.    Once I receive my training, I will relocate across the border & do anything I want.

But one thing I will do is make time to help others.   I want to volunteer to help the homeless, and those suffering from substance abuse.

Actually while I’m here in this…..town I will volunteer to help out homeless.   I volunteer every Christmas down at the shelter.  For me sitting at a table with family is so boring.  Not that I have that anyway, but that’s okay.   The whole family thing is about as exciting as watching the paint dry.  I figure most don’t care and the good majority do not….until that is homelessness happens to them.

And when I mean homeless I mean sleeping outside, in your car, or wherever you can type.  I myself have stayed in a homeless shelter a real bad one, not the nicer ones that are here in Seattle.   I was treated like Sh*t too.  

Enjoying your life whats left of it, helping others less fortunate (something that is sorely lacking here in this City) is what matters.  I know after what I’ve been through in the last 7 years:

A death in the family

The hate crime nearly getting stabbed (talk about your life flashing before your eyes)

Apartment break in’s by troubled neighbors

Navigating a cold ass City with all the congeniality of a doorknob

I say go out & have some fun doing what you want.

Don’t forget to help someone less fortunate. 

I feel that selfishness should be among those 7 deadly sins.

I’ve seen enough of that to last me into the next life time.

Okay, I’ll see if I can get some sleep.  This insomnia is NOT fun!

 

Sometimes It Doesn’t Pay To Get Out Of Bed!

Sunday Sept 29th

I really wasn’t planning on typing a blog.

However whenever I say this to myself, I then end up on Word press typing away.

Considering starting another blog account.

Today  I did awaken at 7:30AM.  On a Sunday.  I was pretty proud of myself.  I was trying to get to Church I really was.

After breakfast I headed out to Church but encountered some abuse while riding the bus en route.

Theres always one ignorant person.

Here’s what happen.  The bus I rode is a small one.  I ride the front bench seat.  The bus picks up a wheelchair.  I always pay attention to this, so I see that there is an empty bench seat directly across from me.  I’m thinking that the wheel chair will go to the empty bench seat which the driver folds upward.

For whatever reason only known to the bus driver she comes to my side.  I said to her that I thought that she would use the empty seat across from me.  The bus driver says to me “No worries”.

I hate that term “No worries”.     I didn’t say anything I just move.  The ignorant man & woman who I can hear real well says to one another “She knew which side that wheelchair goes”.

I’m thinking this “Oh really”?  So now they can read my mind?  I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

There always seem to be something that someone else doesn’t like about me.

Back in the days I was always nice, had a cheerful disposition ( which I’ve lost & trying to get it back)

But the other women like Tracy, among the other women would humiliate me, make fun of me.  It went that way for a long time.  Reminded me of those schoolyard bullies I encountered everyday at school.

I get tired of people insulting me.  For once I want some people who like me for me, and quit insulting me, like I don’t have feelings.  I don’t like being made fun of.  And if your joking well it isn’t funny!

There are a lot of jackasses that live here in Seattle. 

Backwards too.  Mentality that seems stuck in the 50’s as far as racial diversity goes.  African Americans are just as good as anyone else.  Only problem is some people think that all we do is listen to rap music and they don’t expand their thinking.  That is across the board.  People sure need to wake up.

I get to the Church, and that was a disaster.  I walk around trying to talk to people but as with anywhere else it is heavily clicqued up.  I felt real invisible.  Tried to walk around to get a feel of the place.

So, I go to the espresso stand located inside the Church main lobby, I spot the coffee thermos on the outer edge.  Two women are talking but neither one is bothering to pay me attention.  I ignore it.   The woman I guess was somewhat young, or 20ish, a bit overweight seemed somewhat uncomfortable, ill at ease.

I ask about the price of the coffee, she gives a monosyllabic answer that its donation.  I ask where the donation is.  Man!  its sure like pulling teeth with this broad.   She points to a brown box.  Whatever!

Deal breaker!  I’m out of there. 

Then today was cold wet, miserable however I didn’t let that stop me from getting myself up out of bed at 7:30AM this morning & do something anyway.

Coming home took forever though cause I didn’t know the area real well.  It was hell! 

One good thing is while I was waiting at the bus I called my Aunt she lives in the suburbs and she was glad to hear from me.  So I will get to visit her on Tuesday!  I can’t begin to tell you just how nice it is to get an invite. 

Anywhere.

Dealing with these crazy, hateful, ignorant people on the bus every single day has really worn on me ALOT! No wonder people hate the bus.  I’m one of them. 

So I’ll be going to Church with my Aunt over in the Central district.  It’s the same one my Grandfather went to a long time ago.  I had been attending Public School when he went. 

The bus ride home was soooo draining!  Plus I hadn’t eaten in several hours I felt as if I might faint.

Just so you’ll know, it ain’t fun riding a bus, in Seattle, with a bunch of sullen folks, on a cold,rainy day.

I was wishing I were somewhere sunny, with happy people.  I felt awful.  And I was thinking that I should have just stayed in bed today. 

Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

Can’t wait for the new week to start tomorrow cause today really sucked a lot!

I Will Type What I Feel.

For those of you who don’t approve of what I type?

I am beyond doing anything for approval.  That was my

Parents job.  Stop picking fights with me.  As WordPress states

We have a freedom to express.

I do not troll others posts, that’s not me.

I do not stalk someone on their social media sites.  As lonely as I can get, come on even I can find constructive ways to fill my time.

So I blog on my own site. 

With that said, now onto my writing.   Today is Saturday, its a total mess!  Lots & lots of rain.  Basically this time of year I prefer to call it the Pacific Northwest monsoon season only not quite as bad as in other parts of the World primarily Southeast Asia.  Finally its tapered off.

My blog today isn’t particularly earth shattering.  But I wanted to write something down.  

I’m home today eating soup, watching The Guardian.  If I could do things differently when I was in the Military it would have been to join the Coast Guard.  Hadn’t heard of them when I was 18.  Only recruiter on my high school campus was the Army recruiter and oh boy was he full of shit.

Anyway, I’m doing alright.  I’m already planning on what I’ll do tomorrow something I am not always good at doing. 

Church is at the top of my list.  After much shopping around I picked one over In North City.  Basically at this point in my life I want absolutely no relationships outside of friendships.  None.  I’ve read in online reviews & the Churches website that its a friendly Church so no clicques or folks that deliberately ignore you if they don’t know you type of nonsense.  Based on much shopping around with some of the Chuches this is what I’ve found.    The way I figure it is, Church is not a bad idea.  I hope to make some good friends.  Learn spirituality, which will help me in the long run, like fueling up the car after a long trip.   For me I’m totally running on fumes at this point.

Outside the spiritual communities I’ve found it to be:

Selfish

meanspirited

Among some other things I’ve experienced all throughout my adult life.  I need more.  Plus besides my goal of attend school, with the hope of relocating once I’ve graduated, I need more substance than what I have now.

Basically my life will revolve around:

Church

Volunteering

A part time job ( Don’t wish to work as a cashier, ever notice how some places always stick the women in that position?)

Music lessons ( I used to be an accompolished piano player, but on a small venue, but I was good).

Martial arts

It’s time to get serious.

No more silliness.

If all of these life’s situations haven’t continued to plague me, I would been involved in all of these things.  However its never too late cause at one time I was involved with one or more of the list of extracurricular activities.

Can’t be worried about what someone thinks of my blogs.  I’m an awesome writer with the potential to write a great novel.

Who knows what the future may hold for me.

I must say that I really had wished someone would have said this to me when I was around 12-18 years of age right around the time Mom & I fled California to come to Washington,wow what a crazy time that was.  Those critical years when there would have been a chance for success.  Where I wouldn’t have suffered so much of how cruel the World can be.  Although the childhood I had was horrendous and I mean real horrendous where I was stripped of any amount of dignity and that is both figuratively & literally I must rebuild. 

I think I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again, much like when a natural disaster hits a town, it is then rebuilt better than ever before.

Well I like to think of my life as a town devastated by a Natural disaster, were there was not so much emergency relief, but the will to rebuild albeit real slowly to be better than ever before!  

I’m much like a carpenter trying to build myself a house, but every time I try then I’m knocked over by a full gale force wind.

Like those courageous folks in:

New Orleans

Joplin Missouri

Oklahoma

North Carolina

And other cities & towns I didn’t mention

I will rebuild better than ever before! 

PS Look for a more updated version of my blog through the WordPress premium package.  Been saving, cause it ain’t free.

Time for a coffee run.