Monday September 23rd
I’m real bad! I have no one to give me comfort. All I’m getting is cold distant treatment. I don’t deal with being real broke and I budget what little money that I have so at the end of the month, I usually have at least a couple hundred to get whatever groceries, skin care or what ever little things I might need.
What upsets me is that I’m such a nice person but time & time again I run into some real unsavory people, or bigoted folks, or people that have a nasty jealous streak against me just because I have a real class act disposition. Shit, I should have been born into a prominent family. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I was switched at birth. There seems to be someone who sabotages shit, some sort of underhanded situations. I’ve met a few so called friends like that. Now it seems I’m dealing with a landlord that is a total crook, or extremely inept. Cause anyone can swear up & down that it wasn’t their fault.
Last week I discovered a gift card to a local very over priced steak house that my Mother gave me on my birthday in lieu of actually sitting across the table from her to dine. So I went down to the restaurant because this place is WAY over priced, predominately Caucasion go there. So since I had a 50 dollar gift card ( there lowest dinner is like 25 dollars) I went for the lunch menu its cheaper.
Now another situation. Since I had a 50 dollar gift card I was told that I had to use it ALL AT ONCE. So a one time thing. That is just so stupid! So I had to order 50 dollars worth of stuff, then all I got to carry the shit in was two cheap liquor store type bags! So in other words, real cheap bags. I then had to go back because the staff forgot my water! I’m thinking if I’m ordering all this damn stuff shouldn’t there be a nice bag with handles so I can carry all this shit?
At those prices I expect it.
Then I’m on a bus & school is out. The brats load on at least 20+ load on. Great! 😦
I get home to open one of my food cartons. I open the one labeled Fish & Chips and end up with some of the toughest fish I ever tasted. My teeth are slowly eroding…..so when I take a bite out of the fish it is coated with a sand paper style batter that would scratch the roof of your mouth or to further chip your teeth. I’m used to the light beer batter fish. This wasn’t it. For 7 dollars I expected more.
The cold fries tastes better. This restaurant is way over estimated plus real snobby. I felt real uncomfortable waiting in there let me tell you!
What a day! One good thing at least the woman who works at the Alliance For People With Disabilities a non profit agency was caring & supportive. Let me say everyone I just don’t get that!
Ever! What I usually get is cold, distant, often a apathetic voice on the other end. And all the while I’m in meltdown mode ready to go on a rampage. I am capable of being self destructive. It’s bad. I feel like I can’t surface from this deep dark black hole I’m in.
I have no love for the landlord, my Mother, and that troll of a Step Father.
I feel like I’m wounded & left out on the side of the road with no one to pull over to offer help.
I need a bunch of prayers. I’m hurting.