Callous Judgmental Types…Exactly What Makes You Better Than Me?

Tuesday Sept 24

Here is what is bothering me, and has been for the last 20 years or so.

Why is it when people think that they are better than you just because they have things, and you don’t?

When your trying your best, then its when people look down on you. 

When you don’t have much, and let me say this I guarantee you all you sure wouldn’t be all Polly Anna

When you don’t have much!  The judgemental inhumane suggestions come at you.   I know.

This has bothered me since I got this insensitive reply from a woman I used to know.  Her reply sounded

real impersonal to me.  She starts her reply with “I used to know you”  Like I’m too stupid to have remembered her, when I actually did.  Clear cut case of this person talking down to me.  I deleted this persons message.

This is the World we live in folks.  Don’t have much?  Well expect someone else who has all the trappings of success for example:

The Wife, Husband, Girlfriend, or Boyfriend

A nice place with all the matching furniture

Tons of friends they get to invite over oh & usually its OTHER successful couples.

And the money.

I notice that when people start acquiring stuff they feel the need to brag about it.  People when you brag about the Countries you travel to, the boards you sit on (BFD!)  and whatever else, all your doing is showing off!  No one cares!  At least I sure don’t.  I want to know you for YOU!

I’m not interested in what you do for a living.

I could care less what boards you sit on.  So what?  I had this one woman who felt the need to say she sat on the Co-op board where she lives.  So?  I wasn’t interested in that.  But she is like the rest of the folks who I guess have arrived & now she brags.

Let me say to all of you who have arrived.  Well be sensitive & keep it to yourself or your snobby friends.  You don’t brag to someone who is not doing as well, or who is struggling to GET THERE!  Some of us have a lot more speed bumps than the rest of you.  Some of us don’t have that family support, or have relatives we can go to when we’re sick & tired of the City we live in to help us get back on our feet!

Some of us have one parent dead, with a surviving parent who is selfish & emotionally abusive, low self esteem, just like some teenager who lacks identity, and self assurance.  I have one such parent & little else in the way of family.  Of course I don’t like this but than again one doesn’t have the option of choosing ones family now can they?

I’ve went over trying to make friends ad nausea.  It’s one barrier after another.

One thing about making my way through this hellish adulthood is that I could never get used to how obnoxious people seem to be no matter how nice you are.  That has bothered me for many years.   The people I’ve met except for that great bunch of guys I knew back in the 80’s were for the most part so sarcastic, ignorant as to how to treat other people, I don’t care how smart or not smart you are, but I expect some modicum of manners, courtesy, and being treated with dignity!

That’s not to say that you can’t tease me, but I have to know you first to get a hold of what your personality is like.  I just don’t like it when people make sarcastic remarks or are just mean at someone else’s expense!  Which has happened to me time & time again over the course of 20 years.  I try to open up & talk about myself then guess what?   I have a room full of people laughing at me when what I’ve just said wasn’t funny to begin with!   Happened at an A.A. meeting sometime in the early 90’s.  I feel that one phrase “Don’t take yourself too seriously” is one of the dumbest phrases I ever heard.   Laughter is okay, but not when your having a hard time or are going through something difficult, or when someone really treats you like dog meat humiliating you.  What a bunch of insensitive JERKS those people can be.   It’s why I left that group. 

Couldn’t take the abuse any longer.  Worse than the bullying & abuse I took all through K- 12th grade.  Total humiliation of bullying, being beaten up, having my coat stepped all over then the offending person had nerve to dance on my coat.  Then I have to deal with the same thing from so called adult people.

I’ve had it! 

Listen, take it from me, one who has been through all kinds of abuse, of having to humiliate myself standing in the soup kitchens, of not having money to buy decent clothes, or have enough food in the house to eat. 

Quit treating me like I have no feelings & acting like your better than me!

Quit judging me because I may have little to no furniture in my apartment, hey not everyone is freaking Martha Stewart!  I never learned how to do that.  Don’t come from a family of  decorators thank you very much.

Quit being insensitive to those of us that do without.

Cause at any time folks you could lose everything & be just like me.

It can happen don’t think it can’t. 

Try being a little bit giving.




Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

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