Sometimes It Doesn’t Pay To Get Out Of Bed!

Sunday Sept 29th

I really wasn’t planning on typing a blog.

However whenever I say this to myself, I then end up on Word press typing away.

Considering starting another blog account.

Today  I did awaken at 7:30AM.  On a Sunday.  I was pretty proud of myself.  I was trying to get to Church I really was.

After breakfast I headed out to Church but encountered some abuse while riding the bus en route.

Theres always one ignorant person.

Here’s what happen.  The bus I rode is a small one.  I ride the front bench seat.  The bus picks up a wheelchair.  I always pay attention to this, so I see that there is an empty bench seat directly across from me.  I’m thinking that the wheel chair will go to the empty bench seat which the driver folds upward.

For whatever reason only known to the bus driver she comes to my side.  I said to her that I thought that she would use the empty seat across from me.  The bus driver says to me “No worries”.

I hate that term “No worries”.     I didn’t say anything I just move.  The ignorant man & woman who I can hear real well says to one another “She knew which side that wheelchair goes”.

I’m thinking this “Oh really”?  So now they can read my mind?  I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

There always seem to be something that someone else doesn’t like about me.

Back in the days I was always nice, had a cheerful disposition ( which I’ve lost & trying to get it back)

But the other women like Tracy, among the other women would humiliate me, make fun of me.  It went that way for a long time.  Reminded me of those schoolyard bullies I encountered everyday at school.

I get tired of people insulting me.  For once I want some people who like me for me, and quit insulting me, like I don’t have feelings.  I don’t like being made fun of.  And if your joking well it isn’t funny!

There are a lot of jackasses that live here in Seattle. 

Backwards too.  Mentality that seems stuck in the 50’s as far as racial diversity goes.  African Americans are just as good as anyone else.  Only problem is some people think that all we do is listen to rap music and they don’t expand their thinking.  That is across the board.  People sure need to wake up.

I get to the Church, and that was a disaster.  I walk around trying to talk to people but as with anywhere else it is heavily clicqued up.  I felt real invisible.  Tried to walk around to get a feel of the place.

So, I go to the espresso stand located inside the Church main lobby, I spot the coffee thermos on the outer edge.  Two women are talking but neither one is bothering to pay me attention.  I ignore it.   The woman I guess was somewhat young, or 20ish, a bit overweight seemed somewhat uncomfortable, ill at ease.

I ask about the price of the coffee, she gives a monosyllabic answer that its donation.  I ask where the donation is.  Man!  its sure like pulling teeth with this broad.   She points to a brown box.  Whatever!

Deal breaker!  I’m out of there. 

Then today was cold wet, miserable however I didn’t let that stop me from getting myself up out of bed at 7:30AM this morning & do something anyway.

Coming home took forever though cause I didn’t know the area real well.  It was hell! 

One good thing is while I was waiting at the bus I called my Aunt she lives in the suburbs and she was glad to hear from me.  So I will get to visit her on Tuesday!  I can’t begin to tell you just how nice it is to get an invite. 

Anywhere.

Dealing with these crazy, hateful, ignorant people on the bus every single day has really worn on me ALOT! No wonder people hate the bus.  I’m one of them. 

So I’ll be going to Church with my Aunt over in the Central district.  It’s the same one my Grandfather went to a long time ago.  I had been attending Public School when he went. 

The bus ride home was soooo draining!  Plus I hadn’t eaten in several hours I felt as if I might faint.

Just so you’ll know, it ain’t fun riding a bus, in Seattle, with a bunch of sullen folks, on a cold,rainy day.

I was wishing I were somewhere sunny, with happy people.  I felt awful.  And I was thinking that I should have just stayed in bed today. 

Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

Can’t wait for the new week to start tomorrow cause today really sucked a lot!

Advertisements

Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

Categories UncategorizedTags, , , ,