A Sick Family, Christmas & Other Things

I’ll have to keep this short.

My PC is down, I know nothing about upkeep I just like surfing the Net & writing. 

It’s the end of 2013.   It sucked!  I lost a somewhat good friend but in hindsight she was too young, narcissitic, and well too young.

I wish her well.  I’m still drugdging along.  I have finally found a psychiatrist who will HELP MEAnd he is only charging me 150.00 A MONTH!  not an hour.   Due to my low income.   Friends out there your friend typing this really does need it!!  I’m like the sinking Titanic most times were I’m trying to figure out my next move to keep me constructively occupied!  Remember I don’t have a job, I have a serious mental illness & each minute of everyday is crucial.

Family is still the same if you could call it that. 

My Mother is severely ailling.   

Her Husband my Step Father (if you can call him that, he’s mostly infantile)  is psychiatric & I suspect a bit on the schzophrenic having did all those drugs for the past 30 some odd years.    I will NOT go anywhere near him.  I might land myself in a jail.  I dislike him that much.

So I’m on my own ALOT!  

Thanksgiving wasn’t great spent it eating a community church meal.

And I’m still struggling to make it in this world.

I miss my Father who has been dead 7 years now.

I’m still trying to find my way.

And the librarian here where I’m typing this has just announced that the library will close in a few minutes.

I love all of you.

Will you send me some love, well wishes, and most of all prayers please!

I will continue my blog on another day.

Love & kisses

The Lonesome Dove


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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