The Daily Challenges

Monday May 12, 2014

Today was one of those rare Pacific Northwest days.  And by that I mean that the SUN was out!  It was actually 80 degrees my kind of weather!  It’s during this time of year everyone that I am consumed with one thing on my mind.   Romance.   I’ve lacked it for most of my adult life.   I didn’t even have a high school sweetheart.    

Now I know that due to my situation this should be the absolute last thing that I should be thinking about…RIGHT?   But oh boy my heart is really craving some romance if even for just a temporary time.   This time of year I also usually have crushes.  I have one now I won’t say who that is.   Couldn’t be helped although in my defense it could be due to the stressful situation that I’m in, I don’t know.   

Summer is just right around the corner, its not quite here yet!  I believe the beginning of summer is June 21st?   But as far as I’m concerned its already here.   I can’t even remember the last time I was involved with anyone.   Living here in the Pacific Northwest its just not the best region to meet anyone.   People here seem somewhat narrow minded despite the fact that its 2014!   People of color especially African American women seemed to get the short end of the stick here.  

Having grown up in California being exposed to different nationalities, socioeconomic backgrounds I don’t limit myself.  I’ve been exposed to alot growing up.   Despite the hell I was exposed to in childhood, I’ve had some really terrific experiences.   Unfortunately the bad seemed to outweigh the good.   Lopsided to the MAX!

I want to meet the best & surround myself with some great people.   But, sad to say these kinds of people aren’t easy to find in life.  I keep praying that I’ll at least make some really good solid female friends cause I’m female & really prefer the company of intelligent high energetic women who enjoy life & know what they want.    Makes no difference in age either.   The key is self confidence a least a modicum of it.   I would be just as comfortable with someone 20 IF they know what they want out of life & can hold a good conversation with me.   Looks aren’t important however being active is.    I can even work with shyness if the person gives me a little something to work with.   It just depends.    I’ve developed into a really strong personality who speaks up for herself, knows what she wants out of life & works about getting things done.  

It just hasn’t been easy for me, I’ve had to work very hard with little to know help or guidance.   I’m not whining its just a fact.

So in the meantime, I will just place my focus elsewhere getting my goals met.    I mean really everyone me thinking about romance the timing just couldn’t be worse!  And I know that.

Living in a temporary women’s shelter for the next few months, trying to figure out & find an apartment or transitional housing, and then finding a job/career through some sort of job training I have to say I have my work cut out for me.   

And the thing is  everyone now days is in the same situation as myself.    I’d have a better chance at figuring out the awful National deficit 🙂

Send some good positive energy my way!  I’d appreciate that soooo much

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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