I Don’t Like Gay Pride

I don’t like gay pride.

The reasons why is because its been my experience as a gay woman of more than 3 decades

that the people in the community are pretty selfish, cold, and bigoted.   I’ve experienced them all.

 More often than not gay women in particular just aren’t the warmest people in the World!  I’ve met several & I’m a warm,caring, sensitive woman who needs warm, sensitive, caring women to reciprocate not ones who have all the feeling of icebergs or worse the good majority of women I’ve met have been so selfish & mean, dating all the way back to the 80’s when I came out that now I really don’t like women all that much today.   If hooking up or meeting someone means that I have to go through that bullshit then I’ll stay single & get a dog thank you very much.     It just isn’t worth it for me.  

I’m at a point in my life where I am developing some good self esteem.   To get to where I’m at it took MANY LONG ARDUOUS years of inner pain, of being told that I was stupid, ugly,and worse physically abused to the point where I thought I would never recover.   So that I place my self respect above anything else.   I will not tolerate disrespect, nor demeaning remarks, or become someones verbal abusive whipping post.    Whatever happened to a kind word?   Instead some people just get off on kicking sand in your face?    I’m sorry I just don’t get the overall mindset of today.   

It’s just plain inhuman.    Pride is somewhat tacky I feel that it doesn’t properly reflect the community as a whole then there is the whole phony untruth that “We Are Family”  & “Unity”  is all a bunch of crock!  Try vicious gossip, betrayal, backstabbing, scheming, of being alienated then don’t forget a good dose of overall mean spiritness nature would more likely paint an accurate picture in navigating life as a gay woman of color. Oh and of course there is that racism! Some of the women still have that mindset straight out of the 1950’s. Its sad but true.   The community has a long way to go on how they treat each other.   I’m mostly referring to the women.   I’ve encountered some really nice gay men who were so awesome.

Can’t really say the same for the women.   Alot of them are so unhappy & deal with so much low self esteem that it often gets projected outward.     For me being gay has just not been at all!    It sucks!   No one cares about one another, too many are just plain selfish, just try going up to a gay women & talking to her.    She won’t.   

I’m all into learning a trade, working somewhere fabulous like Hawaii, get a home of some kind and a dog,

Then I’m all good.     My Mother, myself, then my goals are all that matter.

People just simply give me burnout!

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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