It is very difficult to put into words just how oppressive & to some extent dehumanizing my life has been as an African American female. For half of my life people from Teachers, fellow students at school, parents, relatives, even strangers just assumed that I was stupid. I can’t even tell you how many times I was called stupid because it has been so many.
When it came to my intelligence? The jury was always OUT! I mean I got ZERO in the encouragement department. No one had the tiniest bit of tolerance or patience to help me learn. And that pisses me off like you would not believe!!
I get so many mixed messages. First I’m deemed not smart, now as an adult I’m smart. Make up your minds folks!
So its at this point in my life: I’m homeless, unemployed, and having a difficult time figuring out just how to pay for school that really frustrates even depresses me.
The only place I feel I can express all the oppression & verbal beat downs with which I receive is here on Word press.
This country hates on African American women, and this is no lie!
When it comes to education we get totally left out! Teachers expect less from us, and hell the majority of Teachers in the public schools don’t even want to be bothered with us. To those Teachers I say “Fuck Off”
I want to learn engineering. And you know what? I’m more than capable of learning it. I’m smart, I always have been. Going through trauma is like getting into a car accident. It can sometimes take YEARS to recover much like childhood & adult trauma. But for the most part a lot of people seem too obtuse to understand this.
Also understand this: When you constantly berate a child for not doing something correctly you do NOT call them derogatory names, insult them, or question their intelligence. To those of you that do this, you should be taken out back & shot for being so ignorant of this fact.
I want to learn engineering.
I want to invent things.
I have it in me to do so.
To all of the haters past & present?
Kiss my ass cause once I MAKE IT & become a success I’ll be more than happy to throw it in your face.
To be continued….