The Veterans Resource Center Lake City WA.

This is a follow up to the blog I had wrote titled:
“From Homeless Shelter To An Apartment”.
The Tuesday after Labor Day I wake up early at my new apartment
then catch the bus for the long trip into Lake City to talk with
the mental health clinician who works with the Veterans Resource Center.
I guess the purpose of talking with the mental health clinician was a sort of preliminary
before I go to the visit with the psychiatrist who works at a clinic out in Northgate, off site
from the veterans center.
The meeting with the veterans center mental health clinician was much like talking to a wall.
In other words it seemed to me that nothing I said sank in for him. He seemed somewhat obtuse.
A question that therapists, mental health always ask is this:
“So want would you like to see happen”? or some variation thereof.
This time I had an answer.
Simply put I said that I need intensive psychiatric counseling.
What the mental health clinician had said to me was the following:
“I really don’t see that happening”
Want to know what I was thinking?
“What the hell did you just say”?
WTF?
I opened up to him at length, because as I’ve gotten older I’m better able to put into words the issues (and they are many) I face as an African American woman. Those issues are:
Discrimination
Dehumanization
intolerance
exploitation
Manipulation
Physical,verbal, sexual abuse
And here this guy is telling me that intensive psychiatry isn’t possible!
I wonder why? Because I’m poor.
However, the deal breaker was what I laughingly refer to as his selling point regarding the psychiatrist that he was to set me up with on an appointment.
Here is what the clinician said to me:
“Now the psychiatrist I’m referring you to, I don’t know from Eve”
These were his exact words.
So what this tells me is that this psychiatrist could be:
Cold
Cruel
Abusive
Talking to me with all the interest of watching “Face The Nation” i.e. bored indifferent.
Or
Maybe this shrink could be nice.
I wouldn’t stake my life on that though.
Also I did notice that the this clinician guy had holes in his shoes. That one observation tells me so much.
And that would be:
This guy doesn’t make much.
It goes to show one that, you do get what you pay for.
Is it any wonder that our country is in trouble due to the lack of qualtiy mental health treatment?
I therefore dropped out of Project Thrive.
And my search for quality treatment continues.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

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