My Blog A Continuation

I have been having problems with the WordPress website.    There is nothing more annoying that having a webpage act up while your trying to convey your thoughts.    I’m going through yet another difficult time.   I am now at my own apartment, now I’m trying to get it furnished,  I don’t speak to my Mom right now because she is just so weird!   Can’t deal!   My one friend whom I met during my 3 month stay at the women’s homeless shelter I’ll call her Jenny seems to be M.I.A.    Jenny’s stay at the shelter had come to an end so she had to leave.

Jenny was then sent to a 3 month transitional home where the bedrooms are furnished with bunk beds.   Quite different from having had a private cubicle which is what we homeless gals had at the women’s shelter.   She left after only one day according to her email to me that arrived in my email box 3 days prior.   The email had me concerned.   Jenny had gotten along with every single woman at the old shelter & believe me that ain’t easy to do.   Even I locked horns with 2 women there.  Jenny’s email was very brief but in it she says that she has gotten into many fights & has basically has had a hard time finding shelter.    Which as of this writing has been two weeks now. 

The day before I left the shelter for good I gave Jenny my email address.   Seemed appropriate rather than asking for her phone number which I considered way too personal.   Although I wasn’t sure if Jenny wanted to stay in touch with me, I had strong reason to believe that she trusted me as a good friend based on some things she did during my brief stay.

One day I ran into Jenny on the bus so we decided to hang out at the park in front of the Bellevue Regional Library.  We talked for a few hours.    I can’t even remember the last time I did anything like that!   Remember I live in the very unfriendly Pacific Northwest were its hard to get close to anyone!

And, the bad news is that I’ve heard from a couple of other women from the shelter that Jenny has a substance abuse problem.   It’s Heroin!   The most difficult drug  to get clean from.    I haven’t heard from Jenny in a few days I have left her around 7 emails asking her to let me know that she is okay.     Most of them have info on where she can go to like the one day center located out in Kent.     That & some other places for her to try to get into for shelter the ones where the stay is up to 2 years.    

I’m pretty concerned I now have a total of 3 friends all from the homeless shelter that includes Jenny.    Which are 3 more than I had before I stayed at Sophia Way.   

Myself I met with my case manager from the SSVF (support for homeless vets)  were she is helping me get mental health help.     I had asked my case manager about a resource for Jenny.     Later on in the day my C.M.   emailed a link to me which I then emailed that to Jenny.       I hope that Jenny doesn’t die out on those streets.   Jenny is a good friend.    She’s the only one that isn’t judgmental & lets me be me.    I haven’t really had that with the people I’ve met in my adult life.      And I went several years of isolation before I met the 3 friends that I have now.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

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