Know what I get tired of hearing from the LGBT community? I get tired of how THEY compare their hate with what African Americans go through. Sorry to inform you , it just isn’t the same. Plus the LGBT community is not the warmest community I know.
I’ve been hated on i.e. treated with disdain, been on the receiving end of bigotry, racial slurs, in addition to being treated disrespectfully as a woman since I was 9 or 10 years old. If anyone reading this wants to know why so many women especially women of color suffer from low self esteem? Then just sit down & talk to her, because trust me when I say that the woman who shares her story with you? Will have one horrendous experience to tell you after another of being treated just like a piece of meat!
Another form of dehumanization is the hate another African American has for another. Why? No idea. Example I’m in a Red Lobster restaurant with my Mother, where we decide to get our meals to go. For some stupid reason customers must order From the bar a section of the restaurant that I hate to go into. So Mom & I go into the bar to place our orders & we wait, and wait. Mom who is elderly & has several physical body pains is visibly uncomfortable sitting in those hard ass bar stool chairs where you need a damn step latter to get into. While we wait a couple were waiting right across from us over at the bar, Mom & I were sitting at one of the tables. It’s then I notice that the lady is giving me a real HARD HATING STARE! Why? no idea except I notice that she is wearing a hoody just like her husband is wearing. Knights biker club.
On the hoodies it said Oakland Ca. I must say that since I live in Washington and these two out of towners are mean mugging me I feel that they were out of line. I now understand why people from California are despised so much. I’ve since joined that club. Also for those of you who are unfamiliar with the Oakland area? It’s dangerous. Trust me its a city I won’t ever visit. However people from Oakland when you leave your neck of the woods please don’t bring your hostile attitude with you. Your issues are your issues don’t put them upon me, I sure didn’t need that ignorant woman’s bigoted attitude. I’m African American. I have no choice in how my skin turned out when I was born its DNA ladies & Gentlemen! My Mother is White, if that’s a problem for you? Too damn bad! I must say that I don’t particularly like bikers. I could understand if it were say the Hells Angels they pretty much hate everybody that’s not in their gang or affiliated they have a reputation of being mean. I already know that. But an African American biker gang? Giving me a disrespectful stare in my neighborhood & they’re from out of town? Are you guys brain damaged?
Racism & stereotypes from both black & white, I get disrespected no matter where I go! Even in the hospital when I check in for mental health issues.
Because when you’ve endured:
Demeaning horrendous disparaging remarks about your gender
Your intelligence is constantly questioned
Your hated ON SIGHT!
Then your mental health is ALWAYS in danger of deteriorating
From the diary of a black woman navigating life’s difficult roads alone.
Until next time folks!
Been told no my whole life.
Been told I was useless
Been told “your a woman” And “Women can’t do that”
Been told (regarding learning in school) “You still don’t understand that yet”?
Been told “Well how much fucking encouragement do you need”? (this was said while I struggled to write a 10th grade composition when I was in high school)
Been told that “Just because your Mother married into this family doesn’t mean that you belong to this family” (Now that hurts_
Been told “You sure are stupid”(when I couldn’t get a math problem 3rd grade)
Been told “Well (insert a name of a neighborhood kid who was smart & did everything right) so & so does this & that why can’t you”?
Been told “you now have 10 minutes to learn to tie your shoes (I was 5)
People out there you really need to pay attention because WORDS HURT. For whatever reason when it comes to yours truly I don’t seem to be included.
I now struggle with anger & rage. Although I pray, I struggle across the board. But don’t worry because now I will talk back & you might not like what I have to say if you insult me.