Mothers Chronic Pain Linked To Her Years Of Physical Abuse

Now I know that most of you out there may not care but I don’t write this for you.   My Mother is 74 and suffers from years of chronic pain.   It’s linked to her years of physical abuse at the hands of her former husband the now deceased Roger Wiley.     What a guy huh?   I’m going to need many years of therapy to get over this one.     Forgiveness?  To be honest I’ll say this,  I’m glad that the bastard is dead.    And I hope where he is that LOTS of Sunscreen is provided.    This one issue is the most difficult in my life.   I want no sympathy, and I sure don’t want ANY one to tell me how I should feel.    And please refrain from that stupid phrase of “let go”   that’s not appropriate comment.    I have but a long difficult journey and let me say that each year that I grow older more gets revealed to me.    I do believe in God.   In fact I believe in Jesus Christ.   Believe me everyone when you’ve been to hell & back in life you’d better believe in SOMETHING that’s positive and for me that for me is Jesus.

I never married and never intend to.   I certainly don’t wish to be involved with anyone.   As I’ve said before if your lonely get a dog & put your trust in God because everyone else WILL LET YOU DOWN!    Believe it.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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