Hogans Heroes

I grew up on TV. Quality shows of the 70’s,80’s, and thanks to long running syndication the 60’s as well. Shows of today purely are garbage. All those crime shows! Depressing! Unworthy to watch, little value & even poorer quality.
I come from an extremely dysfunctional family: Abusive, and all around psychologically grade A fucked up. (although I now attend Church I’ve got to learn to control the swearing, I’m somewhat angry it will take some time).
No Father around…that is to say the few male figures in my life fell into these categories:
Abusive, violent, crazy: That award goes to my former stepfather of childhood. He’s dead. Thankfully.
So as a little girl I turned to positive role models on where else but TV.
One of my favorite syndicated shows was “Hogans Heroes” I loved Bob Crane! I remember when he was murdered. I simply went into denial about his lifestyle. Today, I went to Google the late actor John Banner who played the bumbling SGT Schultz on the TV show, when I also discovered Bob Crane.
For the first time I discovered a really horrible side to him that has depressed me. He was my idol much like many other little girls who have a matinee idol. I kid you not after seeing his death photo which the internet posted ( What slimy low life’s, why would someone do that?? ) I then decided to simply say this:
“Whatever this guy did, he did not deserve to be murdered! But it does go a long way, to teach me that people posess a dark side to them, if that’s not paid attention to e.g. professional help of some kind…Hell any kind, then that dark element will manifest itself into some pretty destructive behavior.
I don’t know everyone, you would think that a successful actor somewhat privileged would be the last person who would go down a really dark path.
However with addiction it is but a symptom, I know I deal with an addiction myself.
Also hanging with the RIGHT kind of people go along way to help too. IF however, one does not have any insight whatsoever into their life journey…well to put it simply your really screwed folks.
I will still watch Hogans Heroes. Its really funny and I love the way Hogan (Bob Crane) a. takes a bad situation like being a prisoner of war and turns it around to his advantage.
Too bad he couldn’t use that same resilience his Hogan character had and apply it to his real life.
RIP Bob Crane your show helped me cope with my at risk childhood.
And I’m still alive to talk about it.


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

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