German Wings

Does the title of the blog sound familiar. For those of you that haven’t heard German Wings was the airline that was deliberately crashed…..Dear God into the mountains.
The motive REALLY frightens me. According to the news the co-pilot intentionally crashed the plane. He had a mental illness, his Doctors deemed him unfit to fly….but the sociopathic pilot flew anyway.
Unbelievable! Horrifying.
As a person who suffers on & off with my own illness for me I choose to take time off from the working World to get my head together, get treatment (that one is difficult unless you have insurance) and whatever else I might require to get myself together. Granted the stigma of being unemployed doesn’t really look all too great but it’s better than being unstable & having others feel uncomfortable around you.
Or worst.
I can remember a time when I was in a job training program to learn welding. I love welding. When your welding your working around very dangerous materials. But once you get that flame going & weld those two metals together brothers & sisters for me it’s like entering into the gates of Disneyland i.e. that really happy good feeling (which I haven’t really experianced in a while)
The year I was in the welding training was when my Father suddenly died of Cancer. Just two weeks earlier I learned that his Cancer was in its terminal stage, which quickly lead to his death.
Having learned of my Father untimely death I knew that I had to withdraw from the course, for fear that I would endanger not only myself but others. Why? I was literally insane, strickened with grief! I was afraid I would become reckless, not pay attention to detail, perhaps burn someone, etc.
So, when I heard the news regarding this co-pilot Andreas Lubitz who deliberately crashed his plane killing himself & all abroad here are the questions I ask myself (because I have no one to talk to about how I’m feeling)
Why didn’t this guy just take some time off to take care of himself, collect on some disability pay?
Why didn’t he seek help? I’m sure his Union or whatever would have seen to it that he would have been taken care of.
When your stressed out, burned out, or whatever its okay to take some time off either temporary or for good. It seems that not everyone has that built in mechanism in their DNA.
I thought that everyone did.
When you have the responsibility of someones life, this is what needs to be going on in your brain….isn’t it?
Not being self centered to not only take your life but the lives of everyone else?
Hearing this somewhat brings those horrible feelings of 9-11 back to memory 😦
None of the story of the German Wings co-pilot makes any sense.
If all he wanted to do was exit this life all he had to do was just do it…alone.
Why murder innocent people?
It’s time for me to take a much needed vacation.
That is in the works for me.

Family, You Can Count On Them…To Stab You In The Back!

I’m trying to obtain my passport so that I can travel to Canada to get a break from odious Washington state.
To do that I had to get a couple of documents notarized at the local bank, due to the fact that I have a different last name than what is on my birth certificate.
Thats a bit of a story that I’ll save for another blog…but in short when my Mother & I had to flee California when I was 12 she was REAL concerned for our safety.
So, back to my documents.
I needed a witness for my documents to be notarized, so I had my Aunt, the one who took both my Mother & I in when we were fleeing her psycho brother all those many years ago. Yeah, those passport rules are a bitch!
It was real sad to see her.
My Aunt is now in her 80’s had an oxygen tank.
She was driven to the bank by my Cousin 😦 we both cannot stand each other.
Why? No idea, she decided that she wanted nothing to do with me to including treating me like I’m the foulest alien and so I reciprocated. Total bitch.
Try as I might to treat her with respect, guess what? She just isn’t having it. Rude & indifferent to the core.
My Aunt on the other hand was so nice to me. I really needed her for this because she had to verify that I was who I said I was due to the discrepancy in my last name.
Here is what makes my blood boil.
The whole procedure of getting the two documents notarized took only minutes. During this time the dear sweet Cousin didn’t even bother to sit & wait she just took off somewhere, who knows.
Auntie & me went over to the seating area to wait for Cruel-la (I mean Cousin Dearest) to return from her mysterious disappearance. It seems that Auntie had a document that needed to be notarized as well.
Once Broom Hilda returned I immediately got up & said my goodbye to Auntie.
Auntie had wanted me to stay until she had her document notarized, Cousin then says
“We have alot of appointments after this” (referring to the notary) with all the feeling of a lamp post.
I simply thanked them for their time, then left.
I was not happy at how I was treated.
But thats how Family can be. I have one of the most toxic families around.
A family that is cold, distant, and who has all the warmth of a walk in freezer.
When I returned back home I was livid!
I tried to call a couple of crisis lines but it didn’t help.
Here is what is going on in my head.
All of my life I’ve always felt that when you treat someone nice, that you’ll get it in return.
But! for some reason this just hasn’t been the case for me, and it’s caused some real serious trust issues.
And people! I’ve been though some serious shit in my life of the kind that really can send one running to the nearest mental hospital or institution. Or have me running to the nearest drug dealer because I have some serious issues to include losing one of my Parents to Cancer ( and w/o any comfort or support)
I now don’t trust anyone.
I now doubt that anyone is any damn good.
I don’t believe in love, so I therefore have definitely given up ever finding true love.
That shit is for TV or a fair tale.
It doesn’t exist in my life.
All I care about now is getting to Canada.
No, wait first get the job in Canada then move.
Perhaps I’ll feel better later.

Highest Rate Of People Moving Here? Those Dreadful ….

Good Morning Everyone.
At least it’s morning as I type this up.
9:30AM to be exact, I’m house sitting & watching the morning news, hey may as well take advantage of the free cable. Anyway, I noticed a story or a survey, the survey was the top 5 or 6 States that migrate to Washington State. Grrreeat! as if this State isn’t already over populated & resources aren’t stretched thin enough now we’re getting people coming from out of State.
The list was totaled at six so, I’ll just focus on one particular State which I don’t much care for.
Florida! I don’t like Florida. Why? redneck & racist. Guess what? when these Floridians come up North towards Washington? they seem to bring their backwards, racist, redneck ways with them.
It dawned on me this morning. I will have to admit that I’ve been a bit unfair when it comes to Washington State. This state is not racist, it’s actually the racists coming from another State! Which explains that hate crime I experienced 5 years ago while riding a Metro bus heading out to a Tae Kwon do class in Redmond.
See? I knew on that day back in 2010 August 6th that something was amiss. And that would have been that that wretch of an ogre who called me all those racial slurs which cut sooooo deep into my psyche & had traumatized me was probably from some backwoods section most likely from the State of Florida where it seems back ward, , undeveloped, it seems uncivilized, having come out of the Jim Crow time machine. California is more progressive, and California is another state people migrate here from.
However Washington isn’t off the hook. Because when it comes to any African American who has the misfortune of going to trial Washington is hard pressed to put ANY African Americans on its jury.
Example: February 4th, 2015 The Stranger independent newspaper, in an article by Lael Henterly in the case of Lovett Chambers. Google it up. However I want to run down this story for you.
I felt so strongly about this story I tore it out of the paper, folded it up, then stashed the article in my wallet.
On January 21, 2012 Lovett Chambers was walking down a street California Avenue Southwest located in West Seattle, when he noticed two men walking behind him. Chambers had been having some cocktails with friends at a neighborhood Pub, he was going back to his car & heading home.
But the two men were rapidly gaining on him.
“Look at that nigger there, look at the way he’s walking, his mammy must have taught him how to walk like that”. Chambers was the only black man who was walking on the sidewalk.
People from Washington State really don’t talk THAT ignorant.
This scenario only got worse. The redneck guy pulled a knife, chambers went for his gun under the front seat of his car.
Long story short Lovett Chambers went to jail, went to trial, and due to other felonies that he had on his record, Chambers got life in prison. He stabbed the White Guy. So you now have one hateful man dead, and another now serving life at the Walla Walla State Penitentiary.
What a great Country huh? NOT!
I guess the moral to this story would be too…..well hell I don’t have one! I mean really people what year is this anyway? I had thought that the days were African Americans had to be UBER careful in certain parts of town was what? 40-50 or so years ago. Actually more like 50+ years ago.
All I know is that my solution is head for the hills of Canada once I’ve earned my Associates degree.
I’ll not reside in a Country where you can’t go have a drink with friends without having to worry about ignorant White rednecks who threaten you.
Whats next I wonder? A pickup truck with a huge rebel flag waving in the wind?4
Actually I saw that too one day while walking down the street in Burien Washington.
I’m disgusted!
Stay tuned for more insights from me.