When Your Relatives Don’t Like You

Basically, just write them off & move on with your life. Sure it hurts like Hell! I’m sure I’m not alone. Some relatives whether your blood related, or related by marriage to me its the same especially when you’ve known the relatives for decades, one needs to just act like they never existed.
Get the bitter feelings out of your system & just do your best to forget those stupid idiots that seem so selfish & full of hate and make a good life for yourself.
Despite my enormous inner strength even I had a very hard time with this particular issue.
I have my faith that carries me through.
For me, I don’t have anyone really. I’m trying to research & build a life from the ground up! And that ain’t easy everyone. I’ve lost friends which is okay by me cause these so called friends really weren’t. As a result I’ve made a huge overall of my life. What I thought was once important the be all end all, really wasn’t worth anything at all.
For perhaps the first time in my life I realize the true colors of people. And for me I’d rather be alone than to be with person(s) who are of a poor caliber, because I know in my heart that I truly deserve so much better.
Hey everyone, it’s the reason I never married. Marrying some person who is of a very poor caliber just isn’t an option. I don’t settle with just anybody. I was smart wouldn’t you say?
I’m all about developing into a deeply spiritual person.
Cause there isn’t anything pretentious or phony about me.

It’s A Tough World.

And also very unforgiving.
Being single without a support network it’s difficult
navigating this World alone. I’ve spoke about this before
but it bears repeating.
Do you know what is the most difficult for me?
Waking up everyday to a World that is void of love.
I haven’t had warmth, love, and I don’t know if I’ve ever
experienced it in my life.
I feel invisible.
I feel no one listens to me.
I often feel like that young lady in the Nationwide commercials, her name is Mindy star of the Mindy Project ( I don’t watch the show just seen the commercials)
There is the commercial where a narrator says that Mindy is treated like she is invisible to the World……then you see her steal a gallon of ice cream eating a big huge gob of it as she is walking down the grocer aisle….lol! That ladies & gentlemen is me personified!
I guess that to get started in a new life which will include getting out of Washington state that that first step will be to learn a new trade at a trade school.
Then submit job applications out of state.
Then get the immigration underway, because I’m so through here. I want a life where I’m appreciated for who I am and not ignored, or treated like I don’t matter, because I do matter.
Haven’t been treated well in my life.
More like mistreated.
I’m simply tired of it.
I don’t have family per se.
I have an aging Mother who suffers from chronic pain. I help were I can.
My Father is gone
I have half & step siblings but guess what? I just don’t keep in touch with them, some are really messed up with their lives, I need healthy people in my life and not more dysfunction.
I’m single and I must say I’m glad because unless I have the RIGHT person I don’t want anyone at all. Most people have an ulterior motive or some underlying personality disorder that prevents them from even having healthy relationships with other people.
I find that I’m having to chart out my life all on my own.
I’ve been doing that since I was 18 and I’m still at it.
And if you think that charting out your own life w/o:
A strong support network
Family
Friends
A strong significant other

If you think that going through the challenges of life is easy w/o the above listed involved in your life than your in denial, because life is extremely difficult to navigate when your trying to etch out a good, positive life for yourself.
If your a woman of color its much like trying to scale the tallest mountain with your bare hands & feet!
Impossible & challenging as my life is, I won’t give up.
I firmly believe that this is a fight in which I can win.
I must cause I’m in the fight of my life.
Send me your prayers.

Lesson Learned Living In Washington

Washington State is the worst place to live if your an individual that thinks for yourself.
If you love to be a clone, this is the state for you.
I’m methodically planning for the day I can say GOOD BYE to this wretched state.
Until then, I will type up my own personal thoughts of lessons learned throughout all my years
of imprisonment….OOPS I mean of living here.
I’ve noticed that people here are REAL insecure about everything!
It’s been my experience that the very FEW times that I was able to connect with someone who was nice, sure enough, a 3rd party got so jealous that any attempt I made was squashed! One word gossip.
People here in Washington seem on the sociopathic side, because whenever I’ve come across any group of people, I’m nice, amiable, I’m then shamed, like “Your nice whats wrong with you”? and trust me its happened over & over again. The overall mindset here is “Don’t make eye contact”, “Don’t be amiable towards one another” “Be cold & indifferent” . People here in Washington will treat you like your an alien from outer space if you exihibit behavior that is cogenial.
After years of this B.S. I’ve now decided to simply attend school to learn a trade, then just get OUT of here hopefully out of the U.S. to find a nice quiet place so I can live in peace. And who knows maybe even make a friend or two.
There definitely will NOT be any love lost leaving Washington state.
I know that it will be my reason for getting out of bed.

Indiana

I’m really disappointed with how the LGBT reacted in Indiana over a pizza business turning a gay couple away because the business wouldn’t cater a gay wedding?
I say so what?
So whats wrong with just going to another business?
I’m an African American woman.
That may mean little to you, however I need to address that racism is on the rise.
I’ve known alot of hate for as long as I’ve been alive on this Earth.
I’ve been “called “A black bitch”
A “fat bitch”
A Whore
I’ve had my life threatened with bodily harm. Can’t get much worse than having some hateful aberration of a person threaten to kill & stab you with their knife.
I’ve been called “Nigger” so many times, it seemed that it was my first name.
So I know about hate.
I also know about discrimination.
On jobs, I’ve lost employment, on a social level when I would meet other women when their friends would scowl at me the minute their friends meet me for the first time.
So I know a little bit about hate.
Why, would you blow such a thing as a business refusing to cater a gay wedding out of proportion?
Thats not hate.
Complain to the attorney general.
Not sending threats to the business, and protesting. What a waste of valuable time?
Did that solve anything?
Did you know that I have had to go through all of the hate that I mentioned all alone with not one person at my side to support me? Yes its true.
It’s why I write, its my only way to have a voice.
Also, LGBT what you must realize is that not everyone is going to jump on the LGBT loving bandwagon.
Much like the majority who don’t like African Americans, there are some that aren’t all too accepting as you should know by now. Just because LGBT has more rights, don’t expect that wherever you go you’ll be accepted because thats just not going to happen. One needs to look at the big picture.
Trust me I know what I’m talking about.
All this protesting is just counter productive.
But hey what do I know right?
Discrimination is NOT having a business refuse to cater a gay wedding.
Just simply go elsewhere.
It isn’t news worthy.