It’s A Tough World.

And also very unforgiving.
Being single without a support network it’s difficult
navigating this World alone. I’ve spoke about this before
but it bears repeating.
Do you know what is the most difficult for me?
Waking up everyday to a World that is void of love.
I haven’t had warmth, love, and I don’t know if I’ve ever
experienced it in my life.
I feel invisible.
I feel no one listens to me.
I often feel like that young lady in the Nationwide commercials, her name is Mindy star of the Mindy Project ( I don’t watch the show just seen the commercials)
There is the commercial where a narrator says that Mindy is treated like she is invisible to the World……then you see her steal a gallon of ice cream eating a big huge gob of it as she is walking down the grocer aisle….lol! That ladies & gentlemen is me personified!
I guess that to get started in a new life which will include getting out of Washington state that that first step will be to learn a new trade at a trade school.
Then submit job applications out of state.
Then get the immigration underway, because I’m so through here. I want a life where I’m appreciated for who I am and not ignored, or treated like I don’t matter, because I do matter.
Haven’t been treated well in my life.
More like mistreated.
I’m simply tired of it.
I don’t have family per se.
I have an aging Mother who suffers from chronic pain. I help were I can.
My Father is gone
I have half & step siblings but guess what? I just don’t keep in touch with them, some are really messed up with their lives, I need healthy people in my life and not more dysfunction.
I’m single and I must say I’m glad because unless I have the RIGHT person I don’t want anyone at all. Most people have an ulterior motive or some underlying personality disorder that prevents them from even having healthy relationships with other people.
I find that I’m having to chart out my life all on my own.
I’ve been doing that since I was 18 and I’m still at it.
And if you think that charting out your own life w/o:
A strong support network
Family
Friends
A strong significant other

If you think that going through the challenges of life is easy w/o the above listed involved in your life than your in denial, because life is extremely difficult to navigate when your trying to etch out a good, positive life for yourself.
If your a woman of color its much like trying to scale the tallest mountain with your bare hands & feet!
Impossible & challenging as my life is, I won’t give up.
I firmly believe that this is a fight in which I can win.
I must cause I’m in the fight of my life.
Send me your prayers.

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color