I Am All Too Aware

Racial hatred,

It’s what motivated that 21 year old boy to slaughter 9 people in a Baptist church in South Carolina.  I’ve experienced racial hatred 5 years ago.  Had my life threatened, was called several times the worse racial slur you can ever call a proud African American.   But most of you all out there turn a blind eye to how bad it is.  And it is bad.  Imagine if your walking down the street all alone & someone just decides to aim their gun at you all because these people in the car or wherever don’t like the color of your skin.   Imagine your walking down the street on a nice hot summer day in Burien Washington on your way to the grocery store and what should drive by over in the opposite direction but a great big pickup truck with an even bigger Southern rebel flag blowing in the breeze.   This actually did happen & I nearly peed myself as I really did think a bunch of hillbilly’s would be in the back of the truck bed with shot guns.   And now here I wake up this morning over at a friends house that I’m watching while she is away on business, to turn on the TV and what do I see?

But CNN the very first story….nine people died at the hands of a 21 year old White kid!  And why?  Because he hates black people! ><(    What a great Country we all live in ……. NOT!!!!!

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color