I Practice Gratitude Except For This One Thing

I just can’t stand the Fall & Winters in Seattle.   Although I’ve lived here for many years & I can’t even afford to move the lack of sun this time of year is awful.    I’ve taken to talking to my Doctor about getting a sun lamp through the VA.   I’ll need it.  

It’s no wonder the Pacific Northwest turns out such sullen types.   And it could be the reason that I favor shows filmed in Miami (like the cancelled show Burn Notice) and Magnum PI.

Out of all the poor choices I’ve made in my life the one I regret the most was returning to the Pacific Northwest!   I’m stuck here for now.   However the day I move not ‘if’  but when someday my new city doesn’t even have to be a sunny locale.   I just want the H*** out of this State.

So for now how I’ll keep my sanity is to work on getting that passport together for  future trips up North, where I hope to make some intelligent, nice friends.   That part has been real difficult.   I would stand a better chance at winning the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweeps.   No idea where you meet nice quality friends who aren’t gorging themselves to death with food as comfort cause the obesity rate here is off the charts!  I’m still plodding along.   First step those math classes to what I hope will be towards an A.A. degree.   Where I hope to transfer OUT of here to anywhere that isn’t the Pacific Northwest.   I don’t know how I do it!   But it sure explains why some people choose to end their lives or delve deep into drug addiction.   Lucky for me my addiction is Barq’s root beer & Little Debbie’s honey buns.   I also pray ALOT!  I’m not ashamed.   It’s whats kept me sane.   

So kids here is how to stay sane when you live in what could only be described like a constant bad scene out of a movie .   Where the majority of adults here are nothing more but little children occupying a grown up body, where the weather totally sucks your soul out through your body & family is just non existent.

1. Read lots

2. Seek refuge in good music preferably of the relaxing kind

3. Watch lots of good movies of whatever your favorite genre might be

4. Pray like there’s no tomorrow cause your life just might depend on it.  I’m not joking here.

5.  Keep busy, occupy your time

If I seem to have forgotten something?  Oh well I’ll put it in the next blog.

Until next time boys & girls.

Be good.  Stay out of trouble.


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color