Don’t Understand All The Fuss

I’m angry.   Of What? The Syrians.   As an African American Woman who has suffered from hate, bullying, more hate all at the hands of other women sometimes other men, I am angry that despite all of the overcrowding now the Syrian people are taking refuge.   I resent it.  Today a crowd assembled at the State capitol of Olympia Washington one for the refugees others against.

I resent all of it.   But what I will tell you is this.   My heart goes out to the citizens of Paris.   Paris France has always been a favorite.   The French are known for their wonderful treatment of African Americans going as far back as the 20’s when an influx of jazz musicians began migrating there.   It is a place I hope to go to some day both Paris as well as the South of France.   I just refuse to let fear rule my life.   Remember I grew up with a brutal Step Father who was a U.S. Marine who served in Korea.    I’m more mad than anything else and no we really don’t need anymore refugees.    I guess it’s probably time to move elsewhere in the future.   I find it ironic that liberal Whites get all bent out of shape over resistance to Syrian refugees who want to come to this Country, Yet when African Americans get racially slurred then humiliated then demeaned they do nothing but ignore us.     WTF?     This Country never ceases to frustrate me.  I’m thankful this holiday for free speech because having a voice is about the only thing I have.     With little respect given me, struggling beyond my wildest dreams, A Mother who mistreats me, I thank God I have my writing abilities.   What is up with this F**ked up World??



I Love God Proud Of It

I Love God.  And I don’t apologize for it either.  I didn’t begin to pray until much later in life.   I’ve had a few near death experiances where I had my life flash before my eyes.

Case in point my multiple times I’ve ran away from home from age 9-12 years of age in while growing up in Los Angeles a while back I won’t say what year.   Each time I was brought back usually by LAPD with little more than slight frost bite or numbness in my feet ( L.A. temps do drop at night) and a few scratches from sleeping on the ground.   Sometimes I even squatted in abandoned buildings, someones garage, and one time someone’s vegetable garden.   The last time I ran away from the Father & his 2nd Wife I went a little farther into town although were I went I could not tell you, cause I don’t remember all the places I stopped at or went to.  Anyway some older dude approached me asking me at the tender age of 12 if I wanted a job.   I simply said “no”  I hated my life so the last thing I wanted was to go to work.   Little did I know, many years later in my life that what that scumbag was referring to was more than likely something way more dangerous.    I’ve had a shotgun waved in my face after a weekend visit with my biological Father by a crazy step dad this one was Mom’s Husband.    Faced a home invader who had a knife luckily I seemed to remain calm don’t ask me why.   Don’t know how I did it.    You know it’s funny but it seems that the particular region I live in it seems so secular even atheist.   How sad.    I certainly choose not to be, because if it wasn’t for God I just wouldn’t be here period.   I’m also now choosing to remain single.    I am also not politically correct.  Nope.  My journey is for spirituality.  I also hope to achieve that elusive goal of going to school (God willing) despite the many times I’ve changed majors.

The nice thing about being single is the freedom to live the way I want which is to serve God, help the poor.  There’s a lot of evil in this World.    I know that a lot of people say that they’ve seen it all, but I really have.   I write to live.   And that everyone is my only luxury.

Until next time from the blog of a scarred battlefield weary wounded warrior princess.  I continue to  Walk tall & demand to be treated with dignity.   Peace!

Things that really drive me crazy

It really bothers me when you:  Stand off at a distance staring at me.   I need to say that it gives me the absolute creeps!  Want to talk start by walking yourself over & introducing yourself.

It really bothers me when you:  Follow me around like some some lost puppy.  Especially when I don’t even know you.  Again YIKES creepyville.

It really bothers me when you:  Come do the door of my apartment, knock on my door and expect me to let you in.  Especially WHEN you do NOT call before hand, and I don’t even really know you !   This goes w/o saying, if you don’t know the person and the person hasn’t invited you to come over, don’t go showing up at their place of residence.  Ever.  Even when you know where they live.  It’s ignorant & just bad etiquette but most of all it makes you look so stupid.

It really bothers me when : If I only know you in a real casual way i.e. not friends, or anything else please don’t have the ridiculous expectation that while I’m deboarding the same bus, I should wait to walk with you.   This actually happened to me one year when I was headed to a 12 step meeting.   I no longer attend 12 step meetings.   Creepiest people on the planet.

Had to type this up it has bothered me for a few years after I decided to leave the 12 step program.   It’s not only 12 steppers but some people in general that seem to lack any kind of  common sense.