I Love God Proud Of It

I Love God.  And I don’t apologize for it either.  I didn’t begin to pray until much later in life.   I’ve had a few near death experiances where I had my life flash before my eyes.

Case in point my multiple times I’ve ran away from home from age 9-12 years of age in while growing up in Los Angeles a while back I won’t say what year.   Each time I was brought back usually by LAPD with little more than slight frost bite or numbness in my feet ( L.A. temps do drop at night) and a few scratches from sleeping on the ground.   Sometimes I even squatted in abandoned buildings, someones garage, and one time someone’s vegetable garden.   The last time I ran away from the Father & his 2nd Wife I went a little farther into town although were I went I could not tell you, cause I don’t remember all the places I stopped at or went to.  Anyway some older dude approached me asking me at the tender age of 12 if I wanted a job.   I simply said “no”  I hated my life so the last thing I wanted was to go to work.   Little did I know, many years later in my life that what that scumbag was referring to was more than likely something way more dangerous.    I’ve had a shotgun waved in my face after a weekend visit with my biological Father by a crazy step dad this one was Mom’s Husband.    Faced a home invader who had a knife luckily I seemed to remain calm don’t ask me why.   Don’t know how I did it.    You know it’s funny but it seems that the particular region I live in it seems so secular even atheist.   How sad.    I certainly choose not to be, because if it wasn’t for God I just wouldn’t be here period.   I’m also now choosing to remain single.    I am also not politically correct.  Nope.  My journey is for spirituality.  I also hope to achieve that elusive goal of going to school (God willing) despite the many times I’ve changed majors.

The nice thing about being single is the freedom to live the way I want which is to serve God, help the poor.  There’s a lot of evil in this World.    I know that a lot of people say that they’ve seen it all, but I really have.   I write to live.   And that everyone is my only luxury.

Until next time from the blog of a scarred battlefield weary wounded warrior princess.  I continue to  Walk tall & demand to be treated with dignity.   Peace!


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color