Warning about some women out there

It is not lost on me that tomorrow is gay pride.   And as a woman of experience who has been on the receiving end of other womens bigotry here is some warning for those of you women out there not in the know or who may be naive based on my own nightmare for over 2 decades.  It’s a lot of jealousy, backstabbing, betrayal, loss of potential partners b/c another woman liked YOU better and the other woman just couldn’t stand for that.   This is what you can look forward to women. 

Haters are going to hate.  It doesn’t matter if your the nicest person on earth some if not all will just out right hate on you because you have something that they want.    This I know.    In all my years of being out there the best I encountered were women who would be vulgar or if non verbal greet me with a look of contempt mixed in  with a twisted looking snarl on their face for added emphasis.

An example:  Many years ago I was friends with a nice woman we were introduced by a mutual friend.   One day the woman & I went to this really upscale bar & grill which is no longer in business.   The woman knew someone who worked at this bar & grill & to make a long story short I introduced myself saying the following:

“Hi I’m _________”

“Her response was the following: “Well who the fuck cares”!   was exactly how she put it.   She was an ape of a woman real ugly which could have explained it.   Me on the other hand I simply laughed it off, however looking back I should have punched the hell out of her.   What can I say?  I was young & I wanted to look good in the eyes of my friend.  But deep down inside?  I was angered & deeply hurt.   And guess what?  My mistreatment certainly didn’t end there.  This type of behavior kept up for 2 decades.   Other gay women just don’t give a goddamn its much worse when your a non white woman.   Which is why I feel that this gay pride is nothing but a sham & an excuse for people to screw like jackrabbits, party with drugs, and get involved in all sorts of bad behavior.   It’s not a community.   More like a non community of shallowness, selfishness, racism.    I know I’ve been deeply traumatized by my experience’s.  So much so that I now don’t like ANY gay women.   I only want to hang with straight women.  And as far as any relationship it won’t be with no damn woman either.  I don’t feel a need for approval because I feel like this ‘WHO CARES’   I never was popular except in high school were I had tons of friends, excelled in sports, and found it easy to communicate with my peers & adults alike ( I miss those days)  But the so called gay community is so dysfunctional I don’t have the stomach for it.   I want a new life were I’m treated with dignity & respect.   I want a life were I feel I’m welcomed.    I want a life where I’m surrounded by women who actually LIKE THEMSELVES and don’t feel the need to put others down and when I say put others down what I mean is cutting them down to mere shreds of humanity.   I want to be around women who are civil with MANNERS, CLASS and who don’t act like cave people e.g. wanting to fight, giving dirty looks, acting sullen etc.    Most of all I like INCLUSIVENESS!  Most women seem to me to not know the meaning of that word…..literally!    I have too much self respect to expose myself to toxic women who view me as a piece of ass, or another notch, or who don’t take me seriously enough to act with some modicum of what an adult should behave like.

I don’t come from a great background in fact I come from a horrible one.  But I know how to act & behave in a way that’s civil I consider another’s feelings .  I’m afraid I can’t say the same for my fellow woman.    The only pride I’ll celebrate is pride of self minus all the shameful show of rainbow flags, half naked men, that isn’t what pride is about.  Some of you need to look up pride in a dictionary.   Bars, dancing, acting obnoxious, and from I’ve learned on a YouTube video picking fights with protesters ISN’T WHAT PRIDE IS ABOUT.   You need to show some class people.  Pride is about standing proud with class & showing some good character in a peaceful manner.   

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Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color