Another Bad Day Mother Is Getting On My Nerves

It is no surprise that when trying to get any emotional support or warmth from my Mother that its a lot like trying to get blood from a stone.   First thing I hear from her is that she says that she is having psychological problems.   Really Mom?  welcome to my world I want to say but can’t due to how hypersensitive she is.  As it turns out she has to have some minor surgery I won’t say what it is.  However I feel no empathy whatsoever.  For my Mother she has just simply given up on life.   I kind of wish she were a drunk, that I could deal with.   A major downer, abusive, and just a stone cold person since I was a teen.  I was also overdrawn at the bank due to the overnight stay at a hotel not putting back my deposit.   Oh great, I had thought that they just leave your account alone, but they take out the damn money leaving me up the creek!   To top it off I don’t have a damn person to go to for any goddamned support.   Wonderful.    I’m left to deal with all this shit all by my lonesome.   I don’t expect anyone to care.   Hey welcome to my world.   I wish that I could go into a hospital cause at least there I would get some attention + 3 hots.

Advertisements

Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America.

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color