More About Me July 6th 2017

Many of you who bother to read my blogs I’ve been through hell & beyond.  Today I’m feeling both grief, anger with a bit of feeling disgust added into the equation.  Today is the anniversary of when my Father died.   Want to know how I heard when he died?  While I was checking my voicemail after I came home from class.  I’ll never forget that!  My Fathers 6th or 7th Wife (I’ve lost count at how many times he’s been down that aisle) called to leave me the message.   Now, I need to say that whatever etiquette your lacking in, you never, ever leave a message like that on anyone’s voicemail.   The result was devastating.  Needless to say I sure didn’t see it coming.  After I heard that news I dropped out of school b/c there was just NO ONE that would give me any goddamned support or help me through it.   Imagine that!  So today I was one big fat raw nerve of anger, depression, and disgust at the whole world.   I never got to see him buried….NOTHING! It kind of sums up my life if you really want to know.   Raised without love = NOTHING, Raised without nurturing = NOTHING. I’m being totally ignored, lack of positive anything, & I’m 100% neglected =PRICELESS!  I’m a human being people.  When will someone realize that??

I will say this, and that is Dad’s last Wife was a mail order bride from the Philippines I have no idea why that country.  So she was stupid.  All she was looking for was a green card and what little assets that Dad may have had.  Hope she enjoys it because she hasn’t earned any of it.   


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact:

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color