Why Do Teens Get All The Attention When It Comes To Suicide?

I don’t get it.   I’m sitting here in my hot ass apartment the CBS news is on tv when a story is on about teen suicide.   Oh come on!   My teen years were HELL!  I wanted to die all the time, I had depressive thoughts, no one gave a damn nor did I receive attention on how I did in school or anything else for that matter.   It’s nothing new.  I don’t understand why the news media which lies to you all the time even think that this is such a newsbreak.    It makes me angry.    In fact I still think of suicide but of course its just the teens that have this problem right?  o O   Yeah what ever.    I’m barely getting by, I’m writing to therapists ( last one was a bit weird she seemed like she wanted to be my buddy….ewww getting too personal)  I’m sinking deeper into a dark pit.    I should have been named fucked as in fucked up for life.    I’m not a teen.   Hell I wish I were a teen then I could start over & do things differently because as a teen you have your life ahead of you unlike my AGE were I’ve made mistake after mistake all the while having people laugh at me, putting me down with pott shots & insults, or having an unstable Mother talk about the bible shoving her religion down your throat.   Or having people act like a deer in the head lights when you ask them a question ( and no I’m not aggressive like some of you love to think of black women, surprise we are people despite the stereotypes) acting scared.    See everyone this is what you call getting triggered.  GOSH sure want that cig now,   Hell why not Seattle’s air quality is so bad (please visit the search engine about the hazy air today)  I’ll die anyway, the air rates worse than Los Angeles.    How about that??      Here I’m trying to figure out my life, My Mother doesn’t want to be bothered, I’m all alone, and do other stuff I’m too ashamed to mention & some young teen offs him or herself?   What gets me is these same kids have loving PARENTS that they can talk to.   I never had that, I got death threats as a teen when one dish got left in the sink.    JESUS!   Kids next time you have those thoughts come drop me a message & I’ll write about my life.   I guarantee that you’ll be so grateful for your:


Grateful for what you have which is probably WAY more than what I have, trust me.

Your life that’s ahead of you

and all of the possibilities

that you’ll have a change of heart.

Too be continued………. 


Published by: The Lonely Shepard

Me: I grew up in an extremely abusive & disadvantaged family environment were both parents were really immature & their relationship messy! I was abducted by my Father at age 8 abused physically, mentally, degraded by his 2nd Wife, and I didn't see my Mother again until 4 years later, I had to risk my neck + my life to run off to seek help with the local police & this was way before there was any such laws on the books for child abuse. Think on that awhile. Had learning disabilities all throughout school by the time I graduated I learned nothing, was prepared for nothing out in the World. Think on that. Joined the United States Army right out of High School only reason I did join was that at the time there was an Army recruiter right on the High School campus & he took an interest in me. So I joined. I was really in over my head. But what else could I do? I lived with a single Mom who was emotionally unstable & I had ZERO support from anyone including the school staff + administrators. The military was hard & degrading to me as a woman but I got out with an honorable discharge. More about me: A series of dead end jobs, my mind was totally a mess after I got out of the Army, still had no support not even from the Veterans admin. My journey has been a total nightmare of: trying to find out about myself, learning about myself, how to live as an adult, all with no help. Now after long , and intensive filled journey I'm trying to get back on track with my life I want to go to school with the hope of one day attending University. I don't wish my journey on anyone. No one gave me guidance: as a child as a teen as a young adult I was all on my own! and it was real lonely , isolating, extremely frightening. Family? don't really have any. Now remember everyone I'm African American & I receive little to no respect I don't even warrant a speeding car that will slow down. "The person who sang the National Anthem sang the last note so high that no could reach it! That was intentional!" Belize from Tony Kushners play Angels In America. If you've read this far I will leave my email in case you want to leave me a msg. Those that are rude will get deleted immediately. Contact: Yogibeara425@hushmail.com

Categories just trying to make it in a World full of hate & intolerance for people of color