My Neighbor From Hell.

Apartments are THE worst places to live, especially the ones that have the low class types that live in them.   The apartment I live in has gang members that have claimed the rear of the building I live in as their own so I can’t even walk down that sidewalk to enter into the entrance of my own apartment.   What a great country.       Now there is a woman who throws screaming fits throws her stuff around, and does drugs I’m certain of that!   I don’t even remember if I wrote about how on December 13th (Hannukah) the neighbor had the drug dealer woman come to my door kicking screaming, hurling racial slurs, death threats, and other vulgarities.   This was a little over two weeks ago.     OMG, this was a HORRIBLE month for me.   Now the neighbor STILL will not settle down.   Just say no to drugs boys & girls.   I am trying to get into some temporary housing for honorably discharged military veterans which I am.   If accepted I can stay up to 24 months.

Despite having a section 8 housing voucher I’m considering doing just that.   I’m tired of living alone, this program offers whats called wrap around services.   If your not sure what that means please go & Google that up.   But it’s what I’ve needed for a very long time.   Here is the problem, I have never been able to find anyone who could ever steer me into the right direction on anything.   But then again that always seems to be the case for women in this country.   I know for me I’ve always felt overlooked & ignored & that’s when I’ve tried to speak up, reach out.

For example this program I mentioned in this blog I had to find all on my own.  The V.A. has never told me about this place.    With the V.A.   everything is a secret.   Despite having been to the V.A. hospital for over 10 years getting the kind of services I need is like pulling teeth.    I almost have to kick the damn door in to get anything I need.   It’s true!   I’m not real well.    I always end up next door to a psycho who is on drugs.   I’ve lived in apartments for many years but the quality of tenants sure do change.  For me it’s a horrible quality usually pot smoking, cigarette (I’ve quit too) smoking, heavy alcohol (real heavy) It makes for a very difficult environment.   If you stand up to the bullying neighbor or crazy you get called a racial slur or in my case many racial slurs  

Example:  Could you quiet down

F**k  you N***er!   However I will not cower to anyone.   I’m actually debating on an apartment for special need which means disabled any age which do exist or just staying the full 24 months out at this place which is in another county.   Too many apartment that I’ve resided in have been this way for me.   I envy some of you who have more options than I do.   Although I have one elderly parent who is still alive she is married to a mentally ill Vietnam veteran they both live across town.    My Mother has the NERVE to question my decision to go into the temporary housing program.

I just want to live in peace, I have diagnosed PTSD from years of physical, mental abuse dating back to when I was 8 years old & I was never really treated all this time, because remember mental health treatment is expensive & very difficult to get.   My Mother had the nerve to ask me to pray for her, which I will but hey I need prayers too!   I’m doing all of this all on my own without much help from anyone!

Doesn’t that count?

Christmas Is Such A Difficult Time For Me.

I have a hard time with the Christmas holiday.  This isn’t up for any kind of rebuttal.   I have very little money, not much in the way of family support, I do very well not to think of people who have died.   And right on December 13th Hanukkah I had a psycho neighbor do the following:

Scream at the top of her lungs right in front of my apartment door

Punching, kicking my door

Calling me racial slurs and let me tell you something, you can NEVER get used to getting called Nigger, funny thing about this was the person who called me this wasn’t even white.   How do I know?  When she screamed through my door Nigger

I replied with “White( something or another I don’t remember).

Psycho lady screamed at the top of her lungs with “I’m not white”!   AND, this creature pushes her ugly face right up into the peep hole, where I could clearly see that yup she wasn’t white.   Wow, now I have a whole other race of people besides Whites to be concerned about.    Guess the psycho woman missed the whole Rodney King message about getting along.   And he was right too.

And it didn’t stop there either.  She continued with other vulgarities including calling me something It rhymes with punt!   Can you guess what that word is?

It continued even after she went back into the apartment next door.   Now some 10 tens after this happened I’m still not recovered.   I want to move.   I’m looking to get into a veterans temporary housing I may or may not stay the full time.   

It’s Christmas eve and I feel dead inside.  One thing I don’t want people to tell me is how I should feel.   I will not cower to anyone nor will I tolerate someone screaming their heads off for whatever reason.    This society is sure a ZOO!   I do not trust anyone, I’m not interested in getting close to anyone.   

This town I live in is pure evil.  

So much for Christmas spirit huh?