Good Friends Are Hard To Find.

Aaah, Good Friends Are So Very Hard To Find!

And it’s true.   I’m at the local public library this morning.  Got up early.  I’m in a very nice suburb because for the most part I no longer feel safe going to some of the library branches.   So I decided to spend part of the day here.       

As I was taking the cab out to my favorite suburban library I passed a Econo-lodge were a former friend of mine had stayed.   She was an elderly woman who at the time she was 77 years old.    I helped her to find the Econo-lodge after she was kicked out of a Motel 6.     The brief back story about my former friend was she called me on my cell while I was at the library ( back in 2015) in a panic saying she was kicked out of her Motel.   I should explain that the elderly woman was homeless.   I told her no problem & I went to work on finding her a Motel for her since she wasn’t near a computer.   After some convincing on which area she wanted to go to I convinced her to give the Econo-lodge ( located right on Lake Washington) a try.     See I am a good friend but unfortunately I attract the wrong kind of friends.   The kind that are:

1.  Inconsiderate or thoughtless ( Usually I never get a phone call or anything)


2.  Abusive

So Susie ( not her real name) stayed at the Econo-lodge.    Susie had some problems mostly mental which I chose to overlook.   She was a huge hoarder.   I say this because by the time she had stayed her six months her motel room was completely filthy stacks of paper & what have you covering every square inch of her room which wasn’t that big and her car was filled to the brim with clutter & trash she rarely cleaned it having such a filthy car often got her rejected for part time jobs picking up other people’s children after school, one parent took one look inside of Susie’s car & said ‘No Thank you’  ( Do you blame her?)     We had a falling out , because I just couldn’t take her verbal abuse any longer.  It’s now been about 4 years since I last spoke to her & I don’t even know if she is even alive cause she was a pretty old woman.   It was real embarrassing to be around her at times.   An added note everyone that wants to judge, I did try to contact Susie when a potential employer wanted to speak to her. I never did hear back from Susie. I can only do so much but I’m vulnerable & deal with tremendous pain, both emotional, psychological. At some point I have to walk away so I don’t get myself into trouble. This woman? very toxic! And I did give her ample chances.

Once we went for Chinese food out in Renton she was extremely rude to the waitress.  Then after she ate her meal she licked her plate with her tongue.   I wanted to just crawl under the table, I was so embarrassed!

When I chose to stay at the exact same Econo-lodge one year, and I forgot why I needed to stay there I think that I was in between apartments I requested a room far from Susie’s room so that there wouldn’t be any chance that I would run into her.     I think that this was in 2016.  

The front desk attendant then explained to me that Susie was no longer a guest at the Econo-lodge which was a complete relief.    But there’s more.

One of the housekeepers took a few minutes to talk to me regarding Susie.

Upon checking out Susie left the room a complete & utter disaster!  The housekeeper had said that it took a few days or one week to get the room cleaned ( I’m vague about the time but it was long).   The housekeeper confided to me that she was so glad that she had that day off.    Despite how awful Susie was to me I still think about her especially when I pass that Econo-lodge.    I have another blog on another friendship lost (Woman rose up to make a high wage so I got treated like a dog)

But that will be for another blog folks.  My hands are cramping.   Include me in your prayers please cause this life of mine is pure torture!


Some Groups Love to throw around terms Like Bigotry Unsure If They Know What They’re Talking about.

I really have a deep seeded resentment of groups who love to throw around the term bigotry + hate especially when they’re shoving their own agenda down the throats of men, women, children.  

I’m sick of the perversion the changing up of the sexes especially men to women which is a mockery to those of us women born as such.    In this Country there exists a pandemic of misogyny the likes of which I’ve never seen in all of my years.    I really worry about my safety.   I’ve had other women show hatred for me in the form of:


Humiliation ( for something as minor as being a couple of minutes late to an orientation)

Cutting in line in front of me then when I speak up for myself told to “shut up”.

Having screamed hateful racial slurs at the top of their lungs mind you.

So I know this subject well.   This Country is shifting towards hate of the single woman & add a color to that woman than guess what??  Our life is hell on Earth!   Now it seems to me from many articles I’ve researched that actual women seem to be public enemy number one!   Women are mocked, hated.   It is now a fashionable ‘trend’ to go to get hormones shot  up to become a woman, go out in public to throw on a dress & YOU must address the cretin as a ‘SHE’.   Really?    So now I’m told how to think when someone is destroying what God gave them?    This whole notion of being born into the wrong body is HORSESHIT!    Give me a break!   I get disgusted !   Does anyone out there know just how enormously difficult it is to be a female living out here in the World on her own?    I do.   Because all through out my adult life I’ve been told that I’m not good enough, I received discrimination from agencies that were supposed to help people get on track but when it comes to the female I may as well be dogmeat!   From the years when I was in the military TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MY life having sexual remarks spew at me “I should be home barefoot & pregnant” to much worse.    To being told or implied that I’m no good & why because I’m a female!

I even receive hate from transgendered females!   I sure have!  

So listen up.   Keep your feelings to yourselves go seek out someone who will listen but I will never accept this.   I am a woman & proud of it.   If your confused there is a good old fashioned rememedy.

Just go to a hospital & talk to a shrink!   I have my own problems to deal with.   Thanks

Success in early life depends largely on HELP!

Sometime ago I wrote a blog about help & doors of opportunities opening for a young man who was homeless please take time to read it. One of the few blogs that had a great many views. I have another blog this one about a phenomenal young man graduated WestPoint in 2017. He is a Vietnamese 2nd generation immigrant raised by a single parent, came from humble beginnings. I’ve watched a few of his blogs called The Thomas Vlogs. Thomas did attend a regular college then went into the Army as an enlisted man however someone did help walk him through the process of entering WestPoint because everyone when your really young & there isn’t anyone helping you, trying to apply to get into College is extremely CONFUSING! Doesn’t matter how much potential you may have, or how smart you are without the right kind of support your just doomed & you never get out of the starting gate!

Thomas had help that came in the form of a high ranking Major who walked him through the entire process and Thomas was accepted thus beginning his career in the Army.

Thomas after graduation went on to become the United States Military Academy admissions officer of the Southeast region an extremely important position. His interview video can be seen on YouTube.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to NOT neglect our youth. Help them to reach their potential. I never had support nor help, sadly I was neglected which in itself is a CRIME! I mean I’m making goals but with just me doing all the leg work its a very slow climb! I have NO ONE really giving me any attention. I don’t much like it but I have to keep pressing forward. It does suck however and if you’ve read any of my blogs you’d know why.

I’m hoping for college entry next year with a scholarship. I have plans and I don’t know if I can do it but I have to try.

See, when someone GUIDES you can achieve! As an added note and it will not be popular with some of you out there but I have to call it as I see it. And that is that there is some definite BIAS among African American women. Young women especially. I can remember while I served in the U.S. Army I was a very bright young intelligent young woman. It seems to me now looking back all those years ago that the only thing the other soldiers saw in me was someone to have sex with or a young stupid young woman. I was there! I was verbally abused by a junior liutenanant her name was Grey. I was called stupid among all kinds of stuff. And it seemed that I was NOT wanted in the military! Definite discrimination, oh yeah. Looks of contempt, being talked down to like I was nothing more than an average dog. Let me say as a 19 year old that really did cut deep into my psyche. The discrimination & sexism really do need to stop! I didn’t have anyone that I felt that I could reach out to. I was scared so scared of the retaliation. And another reason? No one took me seriously because I was a young woman. I will share one of the many degrading things that I heard coming out of the mouths of some of the both young & older enlisted ( ignorant) male soldiers. That women belong in a kitchen barefoot & pregnant! And! I heard much WORSE! Now you tell me something, how would THAT MAKE YOU FEEL as a young woman just 2 years out of high school , trying to find out WHO YOU ARE IN THE WORLD?? I’ll tell you.

Like SHIT!

Problems abound mostly with some who hate each other of the same race!

I don’t know if this is the correct term but let me tell you what I do know. And that is there is some serious HATE going on between African Americans in this country. I’m going to address it between women. Yes it does exist.

Today I’m at the Walgreens to get a snack. I had no breakfast I’m pretty poor barely able to keep any food in the house. I go to get a bag of chips & a soda. I notice some feet away an older woman at the counter. That woman leaves, I’m thinking that she must have bought a pack of cigarettes and that’s that!

I walk up to the check out stand to wait & pay for my snack. The woman returns shortly after. She gives me the evil eye for what reason I have no idea, she then puffs out her chest like a rooster then she CUTS IN FRONT OF ME without saying a word. Next she cuts her eyes sideways! So it wasn’t really the fact this beast cut in front of me IT WAS THE WAY SHE ACTED! very disrespectful! She didn’t care. I stood my ground I spoke up & stood up for myself.

It got ugly. Voices raised we argued her disrespect of me continued she telling me to “shut up” me saying “no I will talk as much as I please” then of course she continued to talk about me to the cashier like I wasn’t there I spoke up too. Bullies especially those narcisstic types hate people like me who talk back , yeah this woman doesn’t care to just shut up. I understand why some White people get nervous but if I may say, to the Caucasion people we as African Americans get SO MUCH disrespect! Anyone remember my previous blogs of how I was screamed at and they were racial slurs of the ugliest kind I also had my life threatened I believe her words ( this was in 2010) were “I will cut you with my knife”. What a nice woman huh?

This makes me angry though that some men or women especially Black think that they can walk all over me. Sorry but that just ain’t going to happen.

Well that is not the end of the story. I left and I walked to a bus stop that was located adjacent to a busy & very public strip mall i.e. Starbucks, Panda Express, As I was walking parallel to Starbucks guess who followed me roaring down in the parking lot? her drivers door open, she is practically leaning all the way OUT of her car to yell obscenities at me. Power to the people you FREAK! Ugh! What a PSYCHO! Demonically possessed much? Sorry but when it comes to turning the other cheek? Well I have to work on that.

I have diagnosed chronic PTSD and no one has helped me either. I may not have served in a war campaign during my enlistment when I served in the U.S. Army but trust me when I tell you, what I’ve went through? Pretty damn major.

I will be looking into shopping online or hell going into the next county even. So that’s how I spent my Saturday. An added note. Please stop with the HATE! Stop judging someone BY WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE!! That is so very unfair, undignified. We all need to treat each other with equality! I’ve had this ugliness & discrimination from both Black men, Black women AND I am A BLACK WOMAN! WHETHER I HAVE LIGHT OR POLKA DOT colored skin just remember something and that is MY LIFE MATTERS DAMMIT!