This will not be typed in its entirety because right now I’m on a public computer inside the apartment building I live in. I’m hungry & really aggravated, due to the fact my Mother called me today. It was somewhat silly she was trying to cheer me up but I’ve been living alone & isolated for many years so buying me an Alexa or whatever the Hell that contraption is won’t help sooth my pain & anguish of how lonely I am.
One thing that bothers me about my Mother is how in denial she is in. She was pretty verbally abusive towards me as a teen and when I say abusive she would SCREAM at me! which is the most horrible kind of abuse there is to take from a parent next to getting beat with a belt. In fact the screaming, ranting, the jumping up & down ( all done by Mom) I can never get out of my subconcious.
Mom had the nerve to bring up my bipolar and to say something like well you got it when you were an adult. WRONG! This was brought about when I was so much younger & I told her this. I was careful & side stepped alot of things but I did tell her was that as a teen I was often depressed & often very tired. She never cooked me any meals meaning breakfast before school ( I had a bowl of cornflakes which for a growing teen who ate like a adult that was NOTHING) Mom never insured I had any dinner, my dinner was often ate at either a fast food restaurant, at whatever food court job I held at the time, or at my best friends home. I wasn’t taught anything about taking vitamins to insure I had energy enough to even get through the day at school. I only told about the nutrition & vitamins part.
Well, here is the excuse mantra said by every abusive parent the world over.
Mom said “Well I did the best I could” ” I had to work to make sure we had food” (actually we didn’t have food outside of dried beans, then she said I had to buy my own groceries which I hadn’t a clue how to do at 16 years old I was a child still not emotionally mature) Why do parents always say this BS?? NO you didn’t do the best you could. That is just an excuse! Everyone we have a crisis in this country. Parents are neglectful, some parents spew the most hateful toxic bile known to man. And people wonder why there is parenticide that exists? Mom really did test my sanity at times, but for the grace of God go I because I feel getting physically tortured would have been alot less painful!
To be continued.