Do you want to know why I write these blogs? I do it to bring attention to just how badly I’ve been treated in life! I’m honest, I don’t bullshit. I’ve suffered ALOT at the hands of other people. I wished I would garner more traffic to my site because I do have a story to tell, I’ve suffered practically MY WHOLE LIFE, I’ve never really had anyone give me kindness except my Mom’s & real recently? My new landlord.
I had the idea of what to blog by going to one of my followers who is following my blog & right away I was real glad that this person decided to talk about ADHD. I have it. I was the shame of my family. I was labeled:
A dummy, I was called stupid as a young kid & in 2005 as an ADULT! by another adult woman (too bad I didn’t smack her!) Teachers didn’t care about me, I suppose they figured I was a lost cause, I’m not entirely sure but they sure they were full of apathy & it showed! All I’ve known was real ignorant & extremely MEAN people. Rarely if ever were people nice to me. I say this because I want it validated I’m not looking for sympathy I just want love & validation. That’s all I want. Because I’ve suffered, real badly. I felt every day of my life that someone would slowly kill me & my spirit. And do you know when this happens enough times ladies & gentlemen? Your soul is EXTERMINATED! It can happen, it does happen. What then happens could be as varied as the tortured soul: crime, drugs, prison, possibly even DEATH! I’m angry that I’ve been treated so abominably over the years. Although I knew that society isn’t fair? the scales of justice really stink when your a person of color struggling with a disability! I wish I were making it up but unfortunately I’m being real about this, and dammit I want some attention! All through school it was a nightmare. At a very young age I was forced to leave my Mother to go live with a stranger known as Father. I was forced to live with this man & his remarried Wife & was she GROSS! That was the downward spiral. I did not learn to tell time until I was 9 years old, didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was 9. I was cursed at, threatened, people screamed then pulled their hair, even shed tears of frustration, all because they were trying to tutor me & I was not understanding anything. So in the adults mind I was doing all this on purpose! I was labeled lazy, compared to the kid next door who was as smart as a whip! And I was on a constant basis told I wouldn’t amount to anything.
Now when a child is told this as I was it basically sets up a child to fail. I was literally screwed up for many years to come. I had problems with drugs, drank heavily, nearly died a few times with suicide attempts. Unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed to meet anyone who had even a half way decent personality who would care. Its the truth. Basically I’m tired of being kicked around like this, I’m tired of being ignored, I’m tired of being told that I “have limitations” How about I show you my limited fist to your jaw?? If one more person makes a comment about my intelligence I’ll go Ralph Cramden of the Honeymooners & land one right in the kisser!
I don’t deserve such negative stereotypes! Its bad enough I get the occasional racial slur so now you must attack my intelligence? Its times like these that I wish dueling would come back. Back in 16th century America colonial times when you insulted a persons character it would be ten paces with pistols. I’m sick of the way I am treated. I want respect, I deserve respect, I want to be talked to like a HUMAN BEING! I do have feelings everyone! And I hurt just like anyone else! Feel free to pass along my message. I am SOMEBODY. So quit acting so hateful. The way I’m treated is so unacceptable. I hope this will get better!
One woman on a solo journey through a very difficult life. 